Workplace Gossip: I'm sorry I can't hear you.

15 Mar

"Oh my gawd, like, I am totally craving a piece of chocolate right now, right?!"

I may not be very old (personally it’s debatable),  but I understand the negative power of the “whisper.” If you want to create an equal and welcoming work environment, you leave the whispers to a minimum or, even better, just leave them at home full-stop.

And noone is more guilty of these anti social schemes than who?… women of course. We are experts at causing tension and conflict in the messiest and most passive aggressive (sometimes full on aggressive) ways. Congratulations to the female race for excelling at drama and pretending like we avoid it all all costs.

A new drama instigator that I had never really considered is the whisper. I may or may not work with a group of women that LOOOOOOVE to whisper… about EVERYTHING! Some people can’t get enough of it! It’s like a daily dose of morning coffee and afternoon chocolate (…and mid afternoon chocolate, and morning chocolate, and mid morning chocolate, etc. etc. …) Thank goodness for chocolate or there might be more workplace shootings among women! I’ve seen more freakouts about not having chocolate in the last two months than I have about natural disasters. But I digress. Ultimately, I wish those chocolate cravings were more frequent than the evil, unanswered questioning/wondering that whispering brings to it’s non-participants and outcasts.

Older women are oftentimes culprits of this bad habit, making me wonder how can you have 50 or more years on this earth and not have figured out how to NOT alienate people, at least at work?? I’ll be the first to admit I love a good suicide mission in my personal life, but I have had enough run ins with conflict and women in the workplace to realize that gossiping is NOT the way to go, and DEFINITELY not the way to move up in the work world.

Come on ladies… if you are going to whisper and bring about the awkward air of people constantly wondering “are they talking about me?” at least apply it to juicy details and not what you had for dinner last night, what college your offspring has decided to attend, or whether or not your dog is shitting successfully. Seriously?!

This is my plea, not only think before you speak, but please consider the manner in which you do it. Yes? Thank you.

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