Second-hand child?: Eat in Peace

21 Mar

I have never been a huge fan of children. It’s no surprise if you know me. Personally, I think they are a little overrated, but once again I am out voted and procreating is one of the most popular things to do, now and since forever. That’s fine, children are a personal choice, like where to live, what car to buy and whether or not to smoke.

HOWEVER, what about the rest of us? If I go somewhere I don’t want a screaming child being an asshole in my vicinity. I understand some children are nice and others are just having a bad day… but I didn’t have a say in your child being a part of my world so maybe I can have a say about whether or not them throwing food or a constant screaming fit in an adult restaurant is a problem?

People freak out about second-hand smoke… what about second-hand child?

I appreciate places like Chuck E. Cheese. It’s a gathering place for children to go and be what they are meant to be: annoying. They can’t help their energy and their constant selfishness. It’s just who they are. However, I feel that there needs to be a calling of more “child” sections. There are “smoking” sections in restaurants that are separate from the general public, so why not separate children? Do they really need to be spread out among us so that we all can partake in their delightfulness? No, and P.S. from what I hear they are only delightful if you gave birth to them.

It’s nothing against parents. It must be awful to never be able to go out in public without making a scene or being given dirty looks when the child is out of control. Child sections offer peace to everyone involved. Parents don’t have to feel bad or be made the center of annoyed attention and those of us that don’t have offspring can eat in blessed tranquility.

Unbiasedly of course, I think it’s win-win. 😉

Exhibit A of the "delightfulness."

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One Response to “Second-hand child?: Eat in Peace”

  1. Sarah March 21, 2011 at 6:16 PM #

    ‘People freak out about second-hand smoke… what about second-hand child?’

    That is the most brilliant thing I have ever heard (then again, I hate kids too).

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