Surrogacy: The Answer to All Woman's Troubles.

18 Apr

The older I get and the more people that start having babies around me, the more I hear about the horrors of pregnancy and giving birth. I won’t go into all the terrifying details here, but good lord how is ANYTHING natural about natural childbirth?!?! …maybe a few hundred years ago baby’s were smaller… like the size of a potato (and NOT the baker’s size)… anyone seen Simon Burch? (if you haven’t, his mother sneezed and he popped out)… cross your fingers!!!!

It gives me nightmares just to think about how women do such a disgusting and embarassing thing everyday and call it beautiful??

Which is why I think surrogacy is definitely the way to go.

You just need alot of money to do it. But I think it is totally worth it to be able to bow out of one of life’s NOT most blessed occurances (more like nightmarish). I’m possibly considering starting my own affordable surrogacy agency… this is how strongly I feel about it. I don’t understand from conception to birth how women are bonding with the alien in their bellies and then pushing them out of their very treasured honey hole (or horny hole… I’ll work on it). I don’t think there is anything normal or pleasurable about preganancy and birth… from a bystanders view of course.

If you think about it, surrogacy is the best of all the worlds… the baby is still yours genetically, you don’t have to lose the weight, no stretch marks, no scars or tearing, no embarassment, you don’t have to buy all the clothes that only last a short time, there is no morning sickness, there is no temporary (this term is arguable) nine-month insanity, and you still get the prize at the end! AND you get to see your feet the whole time…if ever I lose sight of my feet, that is when navigation becomes a serious issue (walking with my head down isn’t a sign of insecurity, it’s a sign of survival). 

It’s like dumping out all the Cheerios to get straight to the wind-up car (noone likes Cheerios really, right?…without a canister of sugar to go with, that is). I see this as win-win.

Also, it costs so much to have them anyways, what’s a little more (or alot more) to have someone else go through the distress?

In my mind, with  bearing children, money should be no object and Tina Fey had it right in Baby Mama… we all need a little Amy Poehler in our child-bearing lives (or just our lives at all). 😉

At Your Own Risk.

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