Rewards for Right Choices and Goals NOT Just Conforming

20 Apr

I was watching Sex and the City the other day (for like the 100th time… thank you E!) and Carrie had something very profound to say regarding marriage and babies (which I’m sure everyone has heard but let’s apply it shall we?).

“Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you … Hallmark doesn’t make a “congratulations, you didn’t marry the wrong guy” card. And where’s the flatware for going on vacation alone? ”

Why is this, that those of us that don’t jump on the baby making, getting married train don’t get rewarded by society like those that do? It’s not that they are making hard decisions or making an effort to accomplish these goals. Oftentimes when people are getting married or having children it is falling into their lap or happening by accident. What about those of us that make more calculated choices (it’s alot harder to NOT get pregnant thnt to get pregnant… anyone seen 16 and Pregnant? Derrrr.) How about congrats you got a PHD or congrats you got an awesome promotion or free drinks on the house, sashes/crowns/party dresses because you didn’t say yes to the ring?? Or perhaps an anniversary gift for surviving alone (hells yes I killed that spider myself) or taking your BC everyday (for your entire life)?

There aren’t parties and presents for breaking-up with an asshole or getting published, or accomplishing whatever the goal is that isn’t the convoluted “norm” defined by society. I want a place to wear a really fancy dress and be celebrated that ISN’T white because some dude thought “well heck I guess I love her and this is the next step” or “I have baby fever and my clock is ticking!!”  I want that celebration and dress because I made the correct decision for me that didn’t necessarily lead to marriage or getting knocked up. There are alot more notable accomplishments than what most people do that don’t get notoriety or gifts. Single people buy homes and need all the same gifts that a wedding registry would include. Or what about a new puppy keeping you up at night and eating you out of house and home as well (OR maybe I just like gum cigars everyday not just when a baby enters the world)?

There needs to be more open mindedness and acceptance about what deems celebration. Because Samantha’s “I’m not having a baby party” looked just as fun as the alternative shower.


2 Responses to “Rewards for Right Choices and Goals NOT Just Conforming”

  1. Allie Norse April 22, 2011 at 12:37 AM #

    maybe we shouldnt wait for the breeders to do it and just throw a party for ourselves!

  2. Sarah Wray April 22, 2011 at 8:57 AM #

    That’s it. My wedding dress isn’t going to be white.

    Really though, this post made me happy. I hate that everyone assumes you have to go through the same motions in order to be ‘normal’. God forbid I ever have children.

    Also, I’m going to throw you a HUGE party the first time you turn down some poor guy’s proposal. 😛

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