Simon Van Kempen: Real House "Husband" of NYC Outta Control!

21 Apr

He deserves those pants! Excuse me while I go puke.

Oh my gosh… this is completely tragic. Apparently, the housewives are getting a little (bad) singing compeition in the form of the craziest house husband alive, Simon Van Kempen. He has recorded a single entitled “I am Real” (must be a typo I’m sure he meant “I am really stupid”).

Shut your face! I know, I know, this is completely rediculous… as if his style and the things that come out of his mouth weren’t stupid enough now we get to hear his mad singing skills. No thank you. I’m a sucker for The Real Housewives of NYC but could definitely do with out control fame whores Alex and her husband Simon. This is a level of shame NOONE should achieve. Congrats you two, you’re a match made in crazy, no self-respect or dignity, bad-taste heaven.

If Simon was the last person on Earth he would still be filming, taking pictures, and promoting himself to the trees. Poor, poor trees.

Simon talks about how cool and simultaneously sneaky it was he kept it a secret for so long… not long enough Simon, not long enough.

I could have died before hearing him… or seeing him… and would have died in peace.

I’m foreseeing a real house husband spin off in the very near future. God, help us all.

As of today my wish list now includes earplugs.

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2 Responses to “Simon Van Kempen: Real House "Husband" of NYC Outta Control!”

  1. EB April 21, 2011 at 3:49 PM #

    This is soo funny! I cannot believe he has a song…or him talking over techno music! And I’m not the biggest fan of Simon & Alex, but I dont like to watch them b/c I always end up thinking “wtf are you wearing?” Did you see that dominatrix black outfit Alex wore the other night? HAHAHA!

    Keep it up!

  2. Sarah Wray April 22, 2011 at 4:56 AM #

    I think we should probably set those shiny pants on fire while he is wearing them.

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