Relationship Realities

6 May

I had the most profound conversation with my father the other day…he doesn’t usually say much regarding my life choices (which based on my current situation have been less than stellar),  but maybe it was because we were escaping the Easter purgatory and the adrenaline was pumping, or merely because I am no longer and idiot teenager. But we had just  made a run for home after our 3x yearly ham (which was VERY good mom) and I made a comment regarding “how can someone put up with an annoying spouse on a daily basis.” To which he responded “you know noone is ever going to be perfect, you aren’t perfect yourself (come again?? 😉 ) and in the end it’s worth it to put up with someone who is annoying in return for lifelong faithfulness… you don’t know if someone is going to remain faithful until much time has passed, but that is really the only thing that matters. Annoying or not, it’s who is going to stick with you through the end.”

Say whaaaaat?? You mean the Patrick Dempsey’s, Channing Tatum’s and Matthew McConaughey’s don’t exist in real life???

Check please!

Perhaps all this time we have been blind sided by the perfection of romantic comedies and looking for the fairy tale ending, when really no such thing exists. It’s like looking for the Leprachaun with the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow… you can keep running towards it, but there is no end to a rainbow!!!  There is always going to be imperfections and flaws, but accepting those and taking them for what they are (minute) is not a bad thing but the only way to enter a union that lives up to its vows. Perhaps there is no Mr. Big and no Mr. Right… and holding out for him leaves a never ending struggle, but saying “ok I’m in this no matter what EVEN when it gets tough or annoying,” outweighs all the stupid quirks that we don’t like.

Who knows, I’m still glad I haven’t stuck with some of my past Mr. Right-Nows, that their quirks led me to say “no thank you,” and that I didn’t lay down and say “ok I’ll settle.” But I will keep this in mind when someone new comes along and he can’t keep up with my neverending wit ;), or completely dictates the remote, or has scratches on his Doc Martens (just kidding, Doc Martens are NEVER ok), that maybe that’s not what’s important in the long haul.

Unfortunately, the quest for love will always be objectified, over analyzed, incorrectly displayed by Disney and Kate Hudson, but maybe this is one more piece to the puzzle of monagomay, marriage, and making it work in the real world.

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One Response to “Relationship Realities”

  1. Sarah May 7, 2011 at 8:40 AM #

    I love this post, and the comic too! It’s so true. It’s not even just ‘dealing with annoyances’. It’s about loving the things (usually the weird things) that you can’t know about people until they fully let you in and vice versa.

    I was watching Good Will Hunting the other night, so this totally tied into my favorite part of the movie, where Robin Williams is talking about how his dead wife used to fart in her sleep:

    “Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That’s what made her my wife. Oh and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they’re not, aw that’s the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you’re findin’ out that one is by givin’ it a shot.”

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