Save Trees, Say it With Words.

17 May

As time goes on and I continue my (conflicted) collection,  I can’t help but wonder… how has Hallmark done it?!? What REALLY is the point of cards? I’m pretty sure if I care enough I’ll go ahead and say it with words instead of in writing. Just because an offering of bi- or sometimes tri- fold well wishes is considered necessary for every holiday, congratulation, thought, and freaking sneeze (not to mention some holidays have been CREATED for the multi-billion dollar industry) doesn’t make it make any more sense.

We all learned how to speak at a young age, so why don’t you go ahead and say happy birthday, or happy graduation, or congrats you have (another) baby, or thank God you finally found someone to marry you? Now they even have talking and singing cards that you can record your OWN voice into…. yeah that makes sense??!?!

Or even worse, how about the production of giving and recieving cards. The card giver is conveniently standing right in front of you watching as you open the card and (painfully) waiting for you to react to it (I never know how to react to everyone watching you open a card… apparently there should be some grand surprised and pleased gesture about what the card editor in California has to say to you in your middle America home. Touching.) Should I cry? Should I jump up and down? Should I read it out loud? Should I pass it around? Should I smirk vs. laugh? What if I don’t get the corny joke and someone has to explain it to me AND then I have to pull another classic reaction out of my ass? (reaction X 2!! Talk about stressful!) There should be a rulebook.

I always get a card and then don’t have any clue what to do with it. If you toss it, it seems cold, wrong, and wasteful… but on the other hand if you kept all the cards you have ever gotten thus far, you are automatically signing your life away to be the next star of Hoarders.

So why don’t we all just say what we think and leave out the tree murder… it’s win win.

Plus, everyone knows the only good thing about a card is what is slipped inside it, right??


One Response to “Save Trees, Say it With Words.”

  1. Allie May 20, 2011 at 12:52 PM #

    Finally someone says it. The worst is that every female relative I have positively weeps at every card they get, especially if its written in some sort of hard to read fancy script. I just don’t get emotional about words someone else wrote to get a paycheck.

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