Office Spiderman’s Secret Weapon: Sortkwik

18 May

If you have never worked in an office you may not have heard of the most magical, ingenius, amazing goo of all time: Sortkwik.

It’s intended purpose (I believe… at least that’s what I am using it for) is to help people sort through papers faster… you know instead of using God given spit to enable finger grip. But in my opinion when I put that pink slime on my fingers I feel like the office Spiderman and at any moment I should start flying around snatching up all the office goodies with a slip of a finger and preparing to fight The Green Goblin at a moments notice . I wonder if this “hygienic” (it uses that term on the actual product, I can’t take credit for that one) answer to office disaster would help superhero wanna be’s on the evenings and weekends, climbing walls and taking a bite out of crime.

All I can say is, I wish I would have been the one that invented it. If I was, I wouldn’t be sitting in an office right now marvelling at smooth gel that instantaneously turns fingers sticky, solving all paper sorting problems ever presented to mankind.

The fact that I am so enamored and impressed with such a miniscule and daily element, dreaming about one day shedding my office suit for a Spiderman costume and characteristics, escaping to the top of some deserted building,  proves that perhaps I have been in an office for far too long.

This guy feels my pain.

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