IS Love All You Need?

30 Jun

I spent the better part of four years thinking I was in love. Though that time was the only really significant relationship in my life, I can’t help but think several things about relationships now that I am a few years out with a different perspective.

First off, God I wish that it had worked out because the naivety that comes with your first love can NEVER be replaced and can NEVER be duplicated! I didn’t understand this. That first love you jump in head first and never look back and never have any sort of inkling that this amazing thing that has happened could ever end. But then when the reality of the breakup sets in and the walls are up for future prospects, can you ever look at a new person with those same fresh doe-eyes as you did the first time? Or is it ruined forever? I personally think the latter, and wish I would have protected what I had a little bit better or chosen a little more wisely that first time around.

Additionally, how is that you can go from loving a person to being in near disdain of them? The human heart (brain) is so weird to me that you can feel the strongest opposite feelings you have ever had in the course of 24 hours. And how do you rebound from that? Is filling that void of loss with a new person just another coat on an ugly paint job, or is it really picking yourself up and moving on? Or is really the only way to move on within yourself is to find the peace to be alone… figuring out what YOU want exactly. I feel like Julia Roberts had it right in Runaway Bride… when she didn’t know how she liked her eggs, but always liked them just how her significant other liked them until she had to be alone… only then could have an opinion and know herself.

Plus, is losing your opinion what we would call compromise in relationships or is it just the fact that we haven’t taken the time to get to know ourselves that we look for someone else to tell us?

Finally, when you leave love behind how do you know if it was love? Was the intense feeling that you had for the other person the real deal? And if it was… is it a mistake to walk away? Or maybe it wasn’t love at all, just the idea of love and that’s why you CAN walk away.

So many questions… Love really IS  A Battlefield.

May the force be with you.

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2 Responses to “IS Love All You Need?”

  1. healingandliving June 30, 2011 at 4:17 PM #

    This post sounds like something I would have written in my early 20’s. I think love means many things to many people, and can even mean many things to one person. I just want to say that it can work, and in fact, it almost means more after you’ve loved and lost, to love again. Because even though you know what that pain is like you are putting yourself out there for this person because it is worth it. When I was younger I wore my heart on my sleeve, and when I fell, I fell hard. I got both hurt and taken advantage of a lot because of that. Still, I managed to find the perfect person for me in the end. And it was that kind of love — all in, crazy love, from the very beginning. I should say though that we knew each other pretty well by the time it got to the beginning (we were coworkers, and really good friends first). We started saying two weeks into the relationship that we were going to get married. Six months later we got engaged. One year later, we tied the knot, and here we are now, married a little over a year and just as in love as ever. I know how it is to feel jaded, but if you want to believe in a certain kind of love and if you hold out for that person and take a chance when they come along, it will all be worth it.

  2. Anonymous June 30, 2011 at 4:22 PM #

    There’s a very thin line between love and hate.

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