You Are Doing It Wrong!

13 Jul

So I know I’m not the only one that is annoyed by the lack of intelligence in this country, but as the digital age increases in its technology and our lives are ever consumed by Facebook, Twitter, blogs, email, and all things online, let’s get a few grammatical issues clear shall we? (Don’t worry I won’t get too technical)

Feel free to use this as a cheat sheet and thank me later when you don’t look like so much of an idiot when posting your status’ every 5 minutes… in every channel available. (You know who you are)

They’re= That little mark in between the ‘y’ and ‘r’ is called an apostrophe… it creates a conjunction. Never use this unless you can replace ‘they’re’ with ‘they are.’

Example: They’re going to go streaking… through the quad… bring your green hat.

Their= This means ownership.

Example: Their mullet is amazing, I wish I had one.

There= This indicates a place.

Example: In the words of Tina Fey- “I want to go to there.”

Were=Indicates past tense.

Example: Were you going to jump off the bridge because you couldn’t use correct grammar?

We’re= Damn that little apostrophe again. Insert ‘we are’ wherever you use ‘we’re’ to double-check yourself. If it doesn’t make sense then… you are doing it wrong.

Example: We’re going to get butterfly tramp stamps together because we are BFF’s.

Where= Indicates a place.

Example: Where are my hair extensions?

Your= Indicates possession.

Example: Wow, that Speedo is not your best look.

You’re= There it is again! Man those apostrophe’s are taking over the English language. If you can replace ‘you’re’ with ‘you are’… then you’re doing it right.

Example: You’re really good-looking when you aren’t speaking.

And the worst of them all…

Two= Is a number!!!!! Come on people.

Example: That girl has two crossed eyes. Bummer.

Too= This one can be tricky… this USUALLY is synonymous with ‘also’ when it means ‘additionally.’  If you can replace ‘too’ with ‘also’ you are using it correctly. It can also mean too much of something.

Example: Are you going to enter the hot dog eating contest, too? I’m not sure, that seems like too many hotdogs for my stomach’s capacity.

To= Best bet just use this for whatever you don’t use the other two for.

Example: I am going to go crazy without my crazy pills.

Additionally, know is spelled with a “K” NOT an “N”. Now= present, as in right now. Know is “oh, you know so much information about Star Trek.”

Learn it. Capiche?

PS I’m available for tutoring… if the price is right.  😉


One Response to “You Are Doing It Wrong!”

  1. Gram: I think maybe this is about "usage" rather than "grammar"...and spelling is good skill too, try spellcheck... July 17, 2011 at 4:14 PM #

    I think these are “usage” errors rather than “grammatical” ones…but the point is made. There are other homynms (I have forgotten how to spell that work) that are equally troublesome. I do not rememberr clearly but I think the example used for “to” was actually an infinitive. “To” is often a preposition: Are you going to the store? Spellcheck is a wonderful technology also…but it won’t tell you when you have the wrong word, will it? Peace. Myself, I am mostly afraid to air my pet peeves because, as sure as I do, I make a careless error of my own! Bummer!

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