Shopping Solo? You CAN Do It.

26 Aug

What is up with women always taking men and children shopping? I feel like these two concepts do not go together. Men can shop for themselves, they ARE adults, so don’t use that excuse and kids come with pre acknowledged sizes that don’t need to be tried on.

And yes, I have been guilty of dragging along past boyfriends to give me an opinion or keep me company… but now that I  look back… obviously I was a crazy bitch. Why would I subject someone who I (supposedly) like to something so horrible? And why can’t women just man up and be independent from their extra appendages for an afternoon?

You ALWAYS see kids whining that they are hungry or playing bumper cars with shopping carts, or distressed men parked on benches and leaning on racks with complete looks of disdain on their faces. I feel SOOO bad for them.  It’s also horrible for me personally… they don’t even give good opinions.

I may have this negative shopping opinion from my upbringing. I have NEVER seen my father in a mall or a Wal-Mart or any kind of conventional store… come to think of it, I wonder how he clothes himself… must be magic. Once in a blue moon if my mom happens to be on her near deathbed, he MIGHT venture out to pick up a loaf of bread, or milk or something completely necessary, all the while receiving the exact route simultaneously from my mother whilst still on previously mentioned deathbed like some sort of GPS adventure.

It seems to me that the whole shopping experience is much less enjoyable when you have a constant shadow… especially one that could care less about what you are putting on your body because A) in a perfect world they would rather have you naked 100% of the time (fairly though, men seem to perk up when Victoria’s Secret is on the menu, but I can’t say the same for children) or B) they are either gonna throw up, drool, or poop on your purchases later (a child’s only opinion should lie in fabric absorption…).

THEN you have the screaming kids that REALLY make it fun for the rest of us and especially for the husbands who seem to become shopping, opinion giving, travelling nannies…

Just leave the circus at home and shop in peace.

Hell, not only will it make the rest of us happy, but it might just lead to lowering the divorce rate.


One Response to “Shopping Solo? You CAN Do It.”

  1. dapperdolly September 12, 2011 at 5:48 PM #

    I think it’s like eating alone, once you’ve done it a couple of times it doesn’t bother you – you can busy yourself with your own thoughts (or reading/writing material). If you’re not used to it the idea can be daunting, depending on where you go as well, it’s probably easier when it’s local shops rather than designer or a mall, especially if you know lots of people and don’t want to be seen alone.

    I’ve never had a problem with either, but it depends on the purpose – if I have an idea of what I want and where to get it then alone is fine, if it’s a trip with perhaps a meal and a movie then being with company is easier. But again, I can do either alone, depends on the person.

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