500 (ish) Revelations to learning another language. Entiende?

19 Oct
 1) I’m trying to learn a second language.
 2) Kill me now.

3) I’m using Pimsleur. It’s the program the FBI uses.

4) There is a reason that the FBI only hires smart people.

5) It’s only supposed to take 10 days.

6) The FBI needs to create a program to make people smarter… in 10 days. I want that.

 7) I’m on day 24… and 1/8 of the way through the program and can only say “I don’t know,” “I did not vote for George Bush” and “I don’t know Spanish!” 

8 ) They don’t teach you slang OR bad words in a language program. Who do I need to make aware of this?

……. [Insert bad words + slang]

101) WTF! How are people supposed to learn another language. I barely know the first. (Ingles anyone??) And am not very good at it with my constant word creation, lack of grammar knowledge, and infinite love of  slang… and bad words.

102) I have a master’s degree, and Spanish is about to stroke out my brain.

103) Kudos to ALL of you that know two languages. I’m a mucho impressed and uber jealous. And think you all deserve some sort of award… or gold star.

…… [See Above]

333) I’m looking for a tutor… that doesn’t go by the name Pimsleur. (We mutually decided it would be best if we broke up and he moved out. There are no hard feelings on my end. We just speak different languages. Ladies he’s still available.)

334) Who thought it was “cool” to make all the different Spanish-speaking countries slightly different in their language style??

335) Whenever I find out who that person is…I have a bitch slap with their name on it.

…… [Notice a Pattern.]

498) If I ever have children (ha), this second language nonsense will be taken care of before they realize what has happened… like ear-piercing and a natural love of vegetables.

499) This skill had better make me hella marketable in the job world… and seriously this time… not like the afore-mentioned master’s degree scheme of 2009-2010.

500) Gracias.


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