It’s not stalking… it’s being savvy.

27 Oct

The internet made me do it.


What are the rules and guidelines for using this thing called technology? Especially the technological kryptonite combination of the internet + smartphones + dating?? I’m not talking dating websites. I need not be seeking an eHarmon-ious life… yet.

But, I think I am positive all the gadgets in the world are affecting my ability to be normal.

I meet someone, of course I’m gonna play Sherlock Holmes on Facebook and Google your first name and all ex girlfriends before I have left your presence. That’s not being crazy… that’s being cautious.

And texting versus calling… is it a bitch move to only text and not actually want to man-up and call. Is Hey Tell a happy medium?? How many smiley faces are acceptable? How carried away with my love of speaking in “icon” language can I get?  And first dates!!… yeah it’s weird when you already know the person’s educational history, where they went on vacation last year, and what their pets’ names and ages are before the appetizer has been cleared. I’m not really TRYING to be a stalker… IT’S JUST SO ACCESSIBLE!! THE UNIVERSE WANTS ME TO!

How do you stalk and come across as “cool”?? I had a hard enough time being cool when the only thing that was cool was crimped bangs, high tops, and color blocked parachute jackets (and yet somehow I failed).

Seriously, similar to Photoshop and the new Microsoft Office Suite (F-U  new File/Home tabs… you confuse me every time!) I would pay to take a class on this.

I have crossed over to crazy stalker type cause I jump the gun to add men on Facebook and turn down dates based on favorite music/movie/television profile selections and the fact that you Tweeted about ANYTHING besides your disgust and full-on hate for Justin Bieber… Damn.

So many more variables now to think of. I don’t want to come across as unstable and desperate when I’m really going for smart and resourceful… with a hella good memory thrown in. (Can’t buy that.) I feel like learning to walk a literal tight rope would be easier for this balance-challenged, uneven hip-placed individual than the boundaries of the WWW. 

My wires just got crossed somewhere and the internet is ruining my life.


One Response to “It’s not stalking… it’s being savvy.”

  1. thatgirlwhit October 27, 2011 at 2:41 PM #

    haha! i’ve had my feeling crazy moments too. the internet is just too easy!

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