Splitsville in Cougarcity.

17 Nov

So the rumors are true.

Talk about a fulfilling prophecy.

Shortly after taking on his new, playboy-esque role, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have announced their split.

Can I get an amen??

Maybe this will end the cougar obsession of middle-aged women. (One moment while I cross all my fingers… and toes)

Also, Ashton is a total douche, which he has most recently shown through Twitter and his half-ass job in reviving Two and a Half Men. (Which would be better with 1 1/2… or ZERO!)

And Demi, I’m convinced, is a never-aging alien who should just be put on display and dissected by scientists to understand her secret fountain of flawless bikini-ness.

I can’t believe the Kabalalahahaha marriage counseling classes didn’t work.

Mazel Tov you two!

PS

Team Bruce all the way.

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