Nahum the Great

27 Jan

Due to my overwhelming need to be able to speak Spanish at my daily appearance at both  Zara’s and all three H & M’s near my home… I have enrolled in a spanish class for 5 hours a week. This also helps to curb my shopping addiction for 5 hours a week and help me to feel confident… in my lack of language skills.

Arriving at my building and taking the elevator to every one of the 12 floors available trying to find my class…and since not one person on the elevator spoke English nor could direct me to my destination…the masses got to take the floor by floor journey with me. Lucky them.

And in true me fashion I arrived 20 minutes early… after my ride north and south sitting there in anticipation of the great mind that would mold my less than stellar one into mastering the letters numbers and shopping terms needed for my purposes.

Enter Nahum.

He was cute when he wasn’t dodging around like a squirrel hoarding nuts from his imaginary squirrel rivals. Really cute. Especially when he put on his glasses and sat still for ten seconds. But the man needed a prozac and a cerveza stat. And his edginess didn’t end, even after the trial period and I officially committed to his class, handing over my hard-earned euros.

The further we got into class, my reservations of being taught by a hot teacher slowly dissipated when his teaching methods reverted me back to what I would imagine preschool would have been like if my mother had sent me. There was a lot of clapping and jumping up and down to show his approval when I matched the vocabulary terms to the correct objects around me, as well as when I caught the ball in our game of Spanish-speaking catch… it’s like walking and chewing gum, but way harder.  I think the icelandic girl who was in the class with me thought the same thing as we received literal ROUNDS of applause and ecstatic thumbs up every time we pronounced something slightly correct while simultaneously catching the ball after it bounced off our foreheads. His enthusiasm was not so addicting, but was appreciated, nonetheless. And thankfully, his hotness had all but vanished.

By the end of the class Nahum was no longer cute, but viewed more as a Dumbledore figure in our quest to overcome the differences in un, uno, and una.

I am positive by the end of my sessions with Nahum I shall 1) be able to buy the entire contents of Zara like a pro 2) should be able to catch a ball bounced off the icelandic girls forehead successfully and 3)  hope to be highly adept in either quidditch or how to use the dark magic to learn Spanish through osmosis.

What made me realize that Nahum was the best teacher in the entire world, however, was his effectiveness at explaining things by flailing his arms in a counter-clockwise fashion.

Match made in heaven.

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