Gone is my Gaydar.

1 Mar

So everyone has been wanting me to follow-up on Nahum.

Apparently I described him well.

Most days I hate him because I have no idea what he is talking about and I feel like a first grader minus my nap time, juice box, and freaking cheese and crackers.

Recently, another development came upon me and slapped me in the face. Nahum is gay.

Another one bites the dust. (Seriously all the good ones are gay!! Ladies we need to step up our game!)

So now I just hate him and cannot even enjoy his perfectly manicured beard and flawless language skills. But it brings about another issue that I have. My gaydar.

Can you take classes on these things? I used to be pretty good and it and I’ll admit it’s easier in your own country…. usually… but I must have killed too many brain cells in the last ten years because I am striking out at a solid pace. I am constantly getting my hopes up for men that are batting for the other team. Perhaps it’s because heterosexual men have lost any skills they may have had in the past at dressing well and general proper hygiene. Plus, gay men can carry on a conversation like they majored in it in college. And they generally know about the important things like designers, up and coming clubs, and celebrity relationship statuses.

Living in the gay area here in Madrid (which is the BEST neighborhood in any city and safest for moi seeing as how I have boobs and a vagina) I still get stared at which is most likely them looking at my shoes, my lack of brunette hair, or they can hear me thinking in my American accent. Either way it makes me feel special.

When it comes to the gays I guess a girl can wish and hope that miracles can happen… or everyone needs to start wearing name tags (preferably bedazzled) with their finest italian leather footwear of perfection, sweet-smelling aftershave in just the right dose,  and impeccable tailored suits indicating their sexual preference.

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One Response to “Gone is my Gaydar.”

  1. Classic March 1, 2012 at 4:10 PM #

    I have no gaydar… I was convinced that Matt Bomer from White Collar was straight, but then I realized, no guy can look that stunning and not be gay. I did a bit of Googling, and found out he has a boyfriend and two kids…I then fell on my knees, raised my hands to the heavens and cried “WHYYYYY??”

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