Noellen party of one.

1 Mar

My whole life I’ve had a very common name. American’s name their kids Lauren quicker than Rhianna can reverse her restraining order against Chris Brown (what a dumb, dumb girl…perhaps abuse is like Pringle’s… once you get popped you just can’t stop). 😉

Now, I have left the English-speaking world and things have taken a turn for the… interesting. Apparently Lauren in Spanish is Laurenia. (Yeah, because that’s what they do… just add -ia to the end of everything and now it sounds cooler. Bleh. And I’m convinced they are in a competition to use the most syllables as possible as often as possible). Laurenia as a name is used about as much as Lewellen is in the states. Lewellen… I called it first! And  NO ONE  can understand me when I say it in my breathtakingly beautiful nasally accent.

Today at Starbucks the guy asked my name… I was so freaking excited I could understand what he was asking and my brain didn’t freeze into blank thought which is what it usually does when trying to switch over to the Spanish world. It’s almost like I’m having a seizure or something and I think people think I might be 75% retarded. So maybe they feel sorry for me…? That’s one thing going for me!

So while I was frozen in contemplation of my answer (and distracted by his handsomeness)… I guess I thought I should think about my name a little bit longer…he asked me twice more. And once the words finally came out, I got a blank stare. Then I tried to spell it in English letters, I got more blank stares. Then his hand furiously started writing in defeat (it’s just a freaking coffee… right?!?)…Ta-Da! my name became Noellen. Sounds about right.  (1,000 points for getting creative about it.) But he was cute… and probably gay… so I didn’t argue. (He could have called me Harry Potter and asked me if I wanted Quidditch tickets with that coffee and I would have nodded with a dumb grin on my face.) However, from henceforth I shall be Noellen in honor of the beautiful Starbucks man, and let’s face it… I’m not going to get confused with anyone else. Noellen doesn’t exist as a Spanish name either. Until now.

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One Response to “Noellen party of one.”

  1. cpinkney March 1, 2012 at 4:27 PM #

    This is pretty funny, and your name isn’t exactly hard to pronounce.

    Whenever I am home, which is Canada, nobody gets my name right the first time; spelling, pronunciation, slow-motion-very-evident-what-im-saying, nothing works.

    The second I goto Europe, nobody pronounces it wrong – As if everyone has heard of my Irish name in all of the EU. Frankly, it’s nice to only have to say my name once, but hell why can’t Canada understand a two-syllable name.

    Enjoy the travels!

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