Your period is offending me.

20 Jun

What is the level of insanity with email and typing and text in which it is appropriate to lose one’s mind??

I just don’t get it.

Is it me just being emotional and all “female?” (I hate it when that happens… I must be ovulating.)  Or is there a serious misconnect within the world of interpreting text?

I feel like I can come across as successfully sarcastic, bitchy, and completely inappropriate with enough ALL CAPS, ellipses that go on for days, and the ingenious creation of the winky face. ; + )= 😉  BINGO! (I feel proud to be a human for that little tid-bit of creativity by someone of the same species.)

However, when I’m emailing/texting various suspects/victims in my daily life, there is a lack of icons to express emotions.  I feel like just a simple period (.) can drive me over the edge from completely cool and everybody wants to be me …to… WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? IS IT ME?!?! DO YOU NEED A CLASS ON THIS?!?! WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?!?! DO YOU HATE ME??! WHERE’S THE XANAX?!?!  Innnn lesssss than .03 seconds.

I can be allll funny and pull out one of my best one-liners in text and all I’ll get out of some people is “ok.” Whyyyyyyyy is that period so hostile? and in case some of you didn’t know… lol means “haha you’re funny I’ll cut you a break and let you think you’re funny”… not “lots of lacking” in my freaking reaction …plus is it just me or does one “ha” bring about the insecurity of “wait… are they laughing with me or at me??” Either way, thank you Times New Roman for delivering the message. ERROR. Message Send FAILURE.

And man in texts sometimes if people overuse their periods or don’t give a smiley face, something super chill can be girl World War… the one after the last one. Or the relationship is OVER. Get your stuff.  Get out. I never want to see you again. And now I’m a lesbian. *sad face* THAT is one HOSTILE period.

It’s like there’s tone in the tone of your text even though text doesn’t know tone or lack of a tone that signifies the wrong tone that was intended.

Can’t we all just email and text all day long in love and thumbs up with lots of hearts and flowers?

I… most of the time… or 100% of the time…who’s counting…overdo all of the above and it’s like I’m not even speaking English… “Hey lol what are you doing lol I’m bored hahahahahaha 😉 😉 lmao 😉 Did you hear about that hurricane last night that destroyed the entire whale population?? poor whales lol. *thumbs up/ lot’s of hearts and flowers* lol. lol. lol. ” That =NO bueno either.

Just use that God given smiley face that he blessed our keyboards with, or use more than two letters in your response… and there is a thing called and “!” that can oftentimes exude excitement even if you are secretly lacking in laughter… which I doubt that’s possible… ever. 😉

And if you really do hate me. Thank goodness there’s a period for that.


One Response to “Your period is offending me.”

  1. sam June 20, 2012 at 4:32 PM #

    Girl. I misread your texts all the time. Not in an offensive way. I just always assume you’re asking me a serious question. I NEED THE WINKY FACE!

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