Hairy situation.

21 Jun

When did wearing fake hair for the freaking fun of it become acceptable in our society??

Perhaps it was when Jessica Simpson started taking over the world with idiocracy… In case you don’t remember those good ol’ days… it was back when she had her FABULOUUUSSSS  ken-doll -look –alike- with- a- someone- make- it- go- away- NOW!- soul- patch- hairdresser to back her up… and speak for her, thank God for that. Amiright?

It’s rare these days to not see a chick with someone else’s hair on their head playing it cool like “Yeah, I like grew this myself, duhhhhh. Hahahahaha. Hahahahaha. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

It’s gross… and unnatural … and a little bit scary… and I just think it’s a waste for the cancer patients and drag queens that REALLY need that shit.

Plus, I think it’s a liiiiiiieeee.

You meet someone with a cute pixie cut and BAM! the next day they show up with 6 ft Rapunzel hair that looks similar to a well planned mullet or Britney Spears BEFORE she shaved her head (yeah, that statement made me feel REAL old) and bingo! She’s a whole new girl!

No thank you.

I like to be upfront in the beginning with all things including my disdain for douchebags and my ability to sorta grow my hair with the help of 8 hour long prayer sessions, crossing my fingers, and consuming cases of Biotin. As well as ensuring that what is on my head will NOT be on the floor if pulled too tight, caught in an elevator, or ravaged in a brutal girl brawl.

And the upkeep!! I’ve seen girls wash them, brush the things, and hang them out to dry like they just shaved Barbie’s head and are planning a secret burning ritual for little girls everywhere.

And sleeping on them… after a long night the next morning is like waking up to cousin IT’s murder crime scene.

To make matters worse things are being injected into hair as well, like feathers…and beads… and shame. Booo.

Additionally if your child can’t walk… leave their heads alone!! Noone should be forced to look slutty before they are able to run away from the craziness!

Save the children.

Ok I’ll stop bitching. But the point I was trying to make 400 words ago is that: real is better, it’s ok to have hair shorter than your ass, and call me old fashion, but maybe less CAN be more…

Maybe? Maybe maybe maybe? 😉



One Response to “Hairy situation.”

  1. Samantha Francka (@sam_a_lama_) June 21, 2012 at 1:18 PM #

    Never. Less is never more. I was just thinking today that I’m ready for my hair to be long again so maybe I should get some fake…lol, just for you girl, just for you.

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