A Novel Has Lots of Chapters.

9 Aug

We all missed the boat. Dammit.

The older I get… I am after all almost 27… Ancienttttt… The more I view this life as a novel and our roles in it…. especially with love…. as chapters.

As independent females we are seeing a shift in what once was an age of one-marriage-for-life-to-ultimately-death that has been replaced with a focus on careers, “working on ourselves,” living in our parents basements until 30+, and a lack of interest in children and settling down. We no longer live by the mantra that marriage or a life-long partnership is a necessity. It is an option. We can support ourselves and have almost dominated the arena of A-sexuality. Sperm donor anyone? I think our love lives are no longer a one chapter story, but multiple chapters in which the further we get through the chapters the BETTER the story. There is also a greater freedom to control the plot, the guts to say no, and the false notion that there is something known as “better” in the dating world (PS there isn’t… we should have all married our first grade crushes that sniffed glue and pinched us on the playground… it’s all downhill from there… 7 year olds UNITE!)

Let’s all admit that first love, like the first chapter in a book, is the absolute hardest to get through, oftentimes when we look back also the most boring, however, the most important to lay the groundwork for what is to come. In first love we learn things about what we like, what we are looking for, more about who we are ourselves, and learn about the loss of naevity in love.  We identify with love. In the first chapter one thinks “This book SUCKS!! I quit! Stoooppp talking pppllleeaassseee!” but perhaps in this age we aren’t necessarily going to have one chapter in love, like maybe our parents or grandparents did. People get married and now we know how the story ends. Instead, I think there is a new wave of shelf-life romances in which each is highly significant, but due to the fact that we are all growing in our own independent endeavors we aren’t necessarily growing together, which is what leads to separations and divorces.

People today are looking out for themselves and it is okay to be single, to have fun, and to prolong settling down. Maybe marriage isn’t the answer. Maybe how it always has been, isn’t how it is going to work NOW. Maybe it is just about LOVE. We are individually continuing our own stories , and by having those long-term commitments and quick trysts that eventually all end, we are really just making our stories more interesting, creating a novel of experience, and furthering our quest for independence.

Perhaps it’s time to stop looking for forever and instead start looking at what is happening in front of us, and how this is going to impact the rest of story for the best, or sometimes just for the experience of the lesson of love.


One Response to “A Novel Has Lots of Chapters.”

  1. Sarah August 10, 2012 at 7:24 AM #

    Really lovely post, and very right! You know I’m always a relationship girl, but as much as I hate a lot about my first experience with love I think I learned more from that than at any other point in my life. Thanks for summing it up so well. 🙂

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