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Seraphim Blues

26 Jun

Reading has been a lifelong pain in my ass since I’ve decided to be a student… until I die.

However, this summer has brought employment that forces me to take a full hour lunch, leading me to want to slit my wrists and to take up reading as a hobby again… what is that?!! Someone get a thermometer!

A couple of summers ago I interned in New Zealand for what turned out to be one of the coolest dudes ever… I don’t think the feelings were as mutual.

Turns out he’s a writer.

Turns out he is an awesome writer.

Turns out his book is my absolute favorite.

Turns out they’re turning it into a movie.

Aaaanndddd it’s not 1,000,052 pages long.

Jackpot!

I may like this book because I’ve spent most of my life sure I’m going to die before 30 (which is getting eerily closer than I ever imagined it would)  and taken advantage of my fierce hypochondria by  travelling the world,  avoiding settling down into anything, and accruing overdeveloped opinions. You’re welcome.

Turns out the main character in the book is doing the exact same thing… but he’s actually really young and really dying. Bummer I know.

The movie is called “The Most Fun You Can Have Dying” and the book is called “Seraphim Blues” by Steven Gannaway.

I had been trying to track down a copy in the states for two years until I finally found it on Lulu.com.

Gannaway’s opinion’s on living life, discovering death, understanding an unconventional faith, and making the most of what you are given, is the BEST I have EVER seen. (Yes, you heard correct… I AM being positive about something. You can close your mouth.) He keeps your attention (which with my ADD that takes over in the first 5 sentences is VERY impressive), he provokes thought about the meaning of our existence, what your dreams are, and how we can all figure out a way to either obtain cancer or fake cancer in order to take the money and run… to life.

Trailer for “The Most Fun You Can Have Dying:” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjvf-wxHl50

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Best Halloween EVER!

12 Oct

So this year Halloween is going to be extra special!! I feel like a ten-year old ready to break out the pillowcase and start my endless collection of chocolate and sugar rushes. Not because I am going to attempt to outdo my freaking AWESOME shark costume (that I MADE, That’s right just call me Martha from now on.) from last year. But because Johnny Depp and Hunter S. Thompson will be directly involved in my plans. Yes, it’s true.  I have a date! And I’m considering bringing my costume to the premiere. Holy trifecta of amazing.  

October 28th is definitely going to change my life.

Helllooooo Halloween Weekend. You could not come soon enough.

TRAILER

Studious Seniors

15 Sep

I work at a community college.

It’s interesting.

All ages and backgrounds…and economic status’  attend.

But there is A LOT of old(er) people with their rolly backpacks and an eagerness to learn.

And when I say old I mean over 70. And when I say rolly backpacks I’m not saying I approve of those.

But seriously BRAVO to all the seniors out there who still find a passion for learning, growth and bettering themselves. I love old people who never give up and never stop living even when maybe their hips or eyes or whatever aren’t working as well as they used to. It really is a testament to the power of education and the power of knowledge intertwined with health and vivacious-ness (you should seem how fast some of them can roll those backpacks!). I know with my pessimistic views on death… and life… I might not be so open-minded when I’m that age. But I can only hope that I haven’t given up on continuously bettering myself.

And who knows, by that time I might be more open to rolly back packs too.

Go Seniors!

Author Adam Carolla

24 Jun

In true trashy form I was watching Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen last night on Bravo and the guest was one of my favorites and I love him even more now that he no longer is a closeted Real housewives watcher! Mr. Adam Carolla was sipping on his “mangria” and ripping on all the housewives in his own hilarious way.

I have always been a fan of his. You may know him from The Man Show or as Jimmy Kimmel’s bromance partner. I LOVE his podcast “The Adam Carolla Show” and ladies he has one of the funniest chicks from his old morning radio show (that was syndicated all over the country) Teresa Strasser as a guest very often and she gets funnier and funnier as well as providing a female perspective on a very male dominated conversation. Plus, his movie, which he basically created from the ground up and starred in called The Hammer is HILARIOUS! and contains enough sarcasm to keep anyone snickering.  I even got a signed copy of the DVD. Please try to contain your jealousy.

But last night he was plugging his new book, “In 50 years We’ll All Be Chicks and Other Complaints From an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy.”  The title alone is pretty funny.  And I had no idea he had a book, but I bet it ranks up there with Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler when considering must reads!!

To catch Adam’s Podcast you can find him on Itunes or Here.

Also, his book is on the New York Times Bestsellers list and can be found… anywhere one finds books.

Here is the trailer for The Hammer.

Tina Fey’s A Bossypants

18 Apr

Tina Fey… my favorite if you can’t tell yet, has a new book that came out earlier this month that I can’t wait to read!!! (Except I can…I am waiting for it to go to paperback… hardcover price is so redic!!) It’s called Bossypants.

I found an exerpt from it that I thought those of you pro-child  bearing or past-child bearing mom’s would appreciate after my anti-birthing post. 😉 OR Those of you still on the fence can enjoy it because, well, whether we have kids or not, we have all BEEN kids.

Your welcome.

 

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

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