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Girly Gift #7: Colorful Christmas

16 Dec

I’m feeling girly again… watch out!

With hair trends being long, and my hair being long, I get really excited when things get ‘colorful.’ Especially since I have had the same hair style for… the last decade.

Katy Perry is paving the way with bursts of color for the head and I am ready to join in on the fun (I can’t decide if my openness with color is because I’m hanging around more “sparkly” girly-girls or this scrooge-ess is emerging out of her all black closet… either way I’m temporarily TEMPORARILY going with it)

You can get the hair coloring done through oil pastels… but that sounds a little messy for my OCD lifestyle. So I found a great alternative. It’s called Color Bug and it appears to be the mess-free way to get your pink, purple and orange on.

Can you say stocking stuffer??

It’s made by Kevin Murphy out of Australia. You can’t get it on his website, but if you go there you can find salons around your area that carry the stuff.

$25 for a temporary good time (I have commitment issues)… I’m down.

Anyone wanna loan me $25? 😉

FYI 9 days until Christmas!! Like you didn’t know… 😉

Ready, Set, Bedazzle.

30 Nov

I’m am REALLY loving the jewel trend that is happening (so is Dolce & Gabbana!!) and lucky for you it is going to continue next year. It’s perfect for the holidays, but also perfect if you like a little bling in your everyday life… which who can’t use a little A LOT of bling… everywhere?

It’s more classic than the over-saturated market of seqins, but still a great take on a simple concept and one that has been around for … a really long time.

What once was a hobby for young girls, is now couture.

Bedazzle that, fashionistas.



Jimmy Choo


Miu Miu


Dolce & Gabbana

Dolce & Gabbana


Dolce & Gabbana


Dolce & Gabbana




Dolce & Gabbana



I AM Darth Vader… In my dreams.

28 Oct

So if you have an Iphone (you are a genius) or a Droid (eh, you’re ok too). But then you know about the power of the App revolution and how it can change your life (or control your life.) One of the most life changing of all the Apps due to my personal and completely irrational fear of ACTUALLY speaking directly to people is Heytell (which I think has only been available on the IPhone’s and Droids). Basically it’s like voice texting… or a walkie talkie of sorts… and you can even partake internationally. I know. AHHHMazing!

But I would like to take it a step further.

Be prepared to be blown away and for the love of all that is techie… please steal my awesome idea and make this happen…or if it already exists I need the details!!

I think that for the Heytell app there needs to be a voice setting. This could also be applicable to the voice recording option to create lists and remind yourself of things and possibly the alarm clock.

When I say voice setting, I don’t mean a stupid voice setting…. like where you can make yourself sound like your average run-of-the-mill serial killer similar to in the Scream neverending franchise, or baby talk, or valley girl, or ANYTHING stupid and completely predictable like that.

I mean I want the Darth Vader voice option to say “Man, Luke (insert real friends name…unless it really is Luke, which makes the whole concept even more awesome), wasn’t that a crazy night. I was wasted!” Or use the Stewie Griffith option to say “I am plotting your imminent death as we speak. I’ll keep you posted. Let’s go get dinner.” Or perhaps Eddie Murphy that says “Bitch we need milk!” Or have the Austin Powers setting to say “Groovy Baby. What are you gonna wear tonight?”

The possibilities are endless… the humor is infinite…my ideas should envoke someone to give me holiday pay.

Door 1,2,3…??

21 Oct

There is one issue that is plaguing the world.. it is like the Rubik’s cube of societal issues.

Which bathroom stall is the least used? Therefore making it the least susceptible to carrying the following issues: hepatitis A,B, C- Z, clogging, pee particles, AIDS, and/ or butt sweat… as well as resulting in which stall holds the coveted full TP roll.

I have pondered this for years. YEARS!

There are known habits that people do when entering a retail establishment… they always go right… do these same rules apply to the stall? What if there is no right!!? 

Are the ones closest to the wall most trafficked, or possibly are you safer going towards the middle…

Are handicapped stalls most coveted? And are you an asshole for using them?? What if a handicapped person is caught waiting for your rude ass (no pun intended 😉 ) to get out of their wheelchair accessible stall? Now, not only are you having to consider germs, but also those less fortunate! Talk about anxiety.

I have a hard enough time overcoming my public restroom stage fright, and incorporating politically correctness into the mix sends my bladder into freak out mode.

Lucky for me a recent article came out this week that confirms my fears… we’re all gonna die from public restroom disgustingness.


This Map + Afore Mentioned Article= Hold it FOREVER.

Kohl’s Retail Requiem

13 Oct

I used to be the biggest advocate of Kohl’s. When they pulled their Vera Wang trick out of their bag I was ON the bandwagon ready to go in circles forever. I had sold designer Vera Wang RTW and was floored by the quality and the similarity to her runway collections. The cuts, styles, and prices were a collaboration of awesomeness. That was a few years ago. And I think we are still seeing the same cuts, worse fabric, higher prices, and the jewelry has been falling apart before I can even START to get my money’s worth (I have a mathematical formula.. e-mail for details.). Plus, their sales are not up to my cheap skate standards. Can I get a ‘boo’?

 Now, I have a list of issues with Kohl’s and unfortunately they seem to have reverted back to the crapola end of the fashion spectrum.

1) Lauren Conrad please Go Away. Why is LC considered such a fashion pioneer?? I forget when daddy’s money and an MTV reality status made you the expert on manufacturing clothing and selling it to the masses. No Bueno.

2) Elle?? Why are they trying to make clothes. Is it Elle Magazine or is it some other Elle I don’t know about. Whenever I think of magazines manufacturing things I think of cheap freebies-with-your-subscription, like pointless make-up bags and the smallest scarfs ever made… possibly for midgets… the jury is still out.

3) Daisy Fuentes. Where did she go?? And why isn’t her line ever pushed at Kohl’s?? I never see an ad for Daisy Fuentes’ clothing line possessing the magical power to turn you sexy, give you an accent, and push up your non-existent breasts into something similar to water balloons filled with pudding, whilst putting them at a geographic location closer to your neck than your belly button. “I want to go to there.”

4) The big Finale… Waaaaiiit for it… J. Lo and Marc Anthony… wait… what?? I didn’t think there was any more products left out there in retail land that didn’t have J. Lo’s name on it. But alas she has found another way to brand herself and simultaneously sell herself out.(Also, besides Kohl’s I see her in some stupid car commercial…does she even drive??!?! Doesn’t she have minions for that?) Congrats. The impossible is possible if you are a bajillionaire that isn’t sure you’re quiiiiiite rich enough. AND Marc Anthony??!? WTF Kohl’s?? Did you get a package deal before the divorce papers were signed?? When has Marc Anthony ever been known for style. Honestly, the first word that comes to mind is “latin-skeeze” (apparently spell-check says this is not a word… I would like to disagree.) I wouldn’t recommend any man trying to recreate that… unless they are divorcing a bajillionaire and don’t really need their style to snag the ladies… when they have alimony in their corner.

Kohls, Look away from the light!

Go International Goes for Jason Wu

3 Oct

Now this is what I’m talking about.

Everybody freaked out over the Missoni for Target launch. I’ve never been a huge Missoni fan… it seems like a pattern my great grandma would have worn. I know, I’m crazy. 

But today Target announced that they will be collaborating with Jason Wu for their next designer team-up through their Go International Program. Yes please. Get excited!!!

Past designers who participated in this program included Zac Posen, Rodarte, and Thakoon.

In case you aren’t familiar with Jason Wu… you can ask Google… Google knows EVERYTHING. Or you may remember he also was a major fixture during the Obama presidential win, by dressing a certain person called Michelle Obama for THE major presidential event, the inaugural ball.  Yeah, THAT Jason Wu.


Puke Me.

16 Aug

SO I have come to the conclusion that no matter what your skin tone, your hair color, eye color, or any amount of freckles, birthmarks, extra limbs, whatever… there is one color that should NEVER be worn by anyone and makes everyone look like skeezy death universally. Even toddlers and dogs look terrible in it. This color should be banned from all threads everywhere.

Fittingly, my name for this color fits the description quite nicely. It’s called puke green. Please see below and avoid at all costs.

I always see it on actresses in movies, and EVERYONE looks terrible in it. I don’t care if your skin is purple and it’s Mardi Gras this is NEVER a good look. But yet people still try to pull it off.

It’s like the collective “if you wanna look like crap today then wear this” go-to color. 

Just say no.

Requesting the Price. NOW.

29 Jul

What’s up with fashion magazines always putting “price available upon request” on all the cute items that I wanna know where to get and how much ramen I need to continue eating …for the rest of my life?

Oh yeah, probably because most of those exclusive items cost more than the average person’s house. Yes Chanel, I’m talking to you. A girl can still dream right and I guess not knowing the price is keeping that dream alive.

But I still wanna know how much they are and having to call everytime just so I can resolve my curiosity seems like alot of work. I mean I think about these types of things ALL the time. What is the big secret?? If you’re reading Vogue and are on an hourly wage… the jig is up everything in there is out of reach.

Maybe the item is worth more than all my credit card limits combined, or perhaps they want the pertinant information regarding your first born child in case your card(s) are declined when purchasing, or maybe they want to see last year’s tax statement before they will let you in the price “club,” or maybe they aren’t sure how much they want to charge until they hear your last name and if it’s Gates the price might go up a few thou?

The jury is out and the mystery still isn’t solved. But if designers and magazines would just go ahead and put the elusive 6 figure price on these items I would sleep alot better… and save alot on minutes. 😉

2012 Olympic Games Look Good

27 Jul

So one year from today London will be hosting the 2012 summer Olympics.

Which means watch out for the Olympic logo to start hitting every cereal box, commercial, and Coke can ever created in the upcoming 365 days. In case you’re not super into the Olympics like me, but know who Michael Phelps is and that he likes to hit the bong, I have a fun fact for fashionistas to look out for next summer.

Armani will be designing the Italian National Team’s complete wardrobes for the event. GET EXCITED!

Also, it gets even better. Stella McCartney will be designing for Great Britain, and Bob Marley’s daughter Cedella will be designing shoes for Puma for the Jamaican team.  USA needs to get in on this action… Any takers?? Michael Kors are you listening? Talk about a Project “Run”way. 😉

I can hardly wait to see what they come up with. I hope their designs show signature style, but that the athletes stand out as not only athletic but ultra stylish too.  A good uniform is key to positive performance, I am sure. You look good you feel good right? And the confidence with an Armani design on your back can only help.

Don’t you just love when two worlds (in this case fashion and sports) come together to make a better one?

Yes please. I hope we see more of this to come.

Stella McCartney for Adidas in 2004.

Fall 2011: Loafin’ Around

26 Jul

So each season there is a must have shoe (or a 100 must have shoes in my opinion) but this coming fall I am really looking forward to embracing the high heeled loafer.

If you don’t like the height, go for a flat loafer, but I think the heel is what is making this trend a must have this season, both covetable and really quite a strong statement.

Look for neutral colors but keep along the lines of color… think  fall leaves changing their colors. So go for muted greens, oranges, yellows and of course beige. Beige goes with everything. PLUS, remember the color of the season is red, red, red… a high heeled red loafer would cover multiple trends and let them see you coming! Plus red goes with everything and can spice up a basic black.

If you want to get crazy 😉 make sure your loafers include at least two- tones or a geometric heel. Also, keep it fun by incorporating some tassels and above all include a platform style in your purchase considerations.

This trend creates a business sexy that you can wear to work or to just loaf around 😉

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