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Fun Fact: Palin Minus the ‘L’ = Pain

9 Oct

As if she didn’t have enough credibility going for her…. ssssshhhheeeeeee’sssssss bbbbbaaaacccccckkkkkkkk.

Sarah Palin is now planning to write a book. What kind of book you may ask… A)”The True Location of Russia,” or maybe B) “Multitasking: How to Watch A Chicken Beheaded While Still Smiling,” or C)”The Top Ten Most Effective Tips To Talk Nonsense But Still Look Like A Hot Mom” or D) A fitness book.

Yep, D.

The correct Answer is D………………………………..

Well thank gawd she’s finally in her destined career bracket. But when the photo surfaced of her new ‘skinny’ self… I had a few thoughts.

1) Goodbye White House, hello stripper pole. WTF is she wearing?!?! Pretty sure I didn’t wear things that immature when I was 18 and crop tops and 8-inch heels were still “classy,” and I hadn’t just pretended I could run a country, shoot a gun, and ride a snow-mobile.

2) Does anyone else think she looks like an 80-year old Shania Twain? No offense, but she looked way better in the hot librarian get-up than whatever Mean Girl impression is going on here. I think her and Lindsey Lohan would probably have a lot to talk about… in the tanning bed.

3) She’s still doing stuff?? I figured after Julianne Moore played her better than herself in HBO’s ‘Game Change’ she would disappear into the sunset with MILF dignity………….I was severely mistaken.

Now instead of hearing that accent debate about seeing Russia and Katie Couric, it’s now gonna motivate us to get skinny…………………………. If only you could see my facial expression at this moment…………………………………………………………..I die.

For the full story, go here People.

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So let’s talk about first impressions.

13 Sep

My days on a college campus are several. And one thing that seems to be getting carried away is the lack of complete self-respect when it comes to presenting yourself in a positive light.

I realize sweats and gym clothes and flip-flops and UGGs (ugh) and generally looking like you rolled out of bed, are going through a divorce, your cat just died, or you have been swallowed into a vat of heaping depression is the “look” these days for most 18-22 year olds… and beyond on a campus. Congratulations. Reallll original. Said no one ever.

This trend is also seeping into daily life,  going out gear, and especially the go-to shopping uniform. But COME ON!

Do you realize that people make their first impression of you as a human being within the first 5 seconds of meeting you and that impression is based 90% on what you have decided to put on your body?

This is a SERIOUS issue that many young girls and boys (and older boys and girls… I do not discriminate based on age only outfits) are not taking seriously. Why would you want to put the impression out there that you are lazy, have zero taste, and generally have no respect regarding your appearance or the rest of the world that is going to have to see you? My eyes are burning!

Thus leading to an even bigger challenge of having to overcome that first impression in a future situation that you may want or NEED to be taken seriously or may be looking to benefit from the relationship. That hurdle to overcome a first impression is like a high jumper in the Olympics highest goal to overcome. And odds are you will be face-planting onto the pole nose first.

It is much easier to present yourself in a professional and adult manner in the beginning… and then run yourself into the ground by sticking your foot in your mouth or telling an off-color joke or bringing up politics later that will effectively ruin your image just as well (I have NO experience THAT whatsoever so don’t even ask…….)

People get it together. If you want to be taken seriously in a world where image is everything and jobs and future survival is not as easy as it looks on reality TV, you need to be taking the steps in daily life to set yourself up for networking and opportunities in the future. Pretty sure no one ever made it big with a sloppy bun and a hoodie sweatshirt. (Unless you put out… then maybe. 😉 )

Plus, if everyone is wearing the exact hideousness then how are you setting yourself apart from the crowd? Oh, wait, you aren’t. And no one is ever going to take you seriously or remember you. EVER.

Welcome to reality where the judgements are fast and harsh and the judges are around every corner.

Rule #1: There Are NO Rules

28 Jun

It always blows my mind how often clothes can be construed to have rules. I take my friends shopping and they don’t think they are “allowed” to go outside of the box when it comes to dressing.

This is absolutely not so. If you can do anything when shopping (besides shopping only in the clearance section ;)) the #1 best thing is to have an open mind.

Clothes absolutely have no rules.

When you give clothes the power to have rules, it is the moment when your own style is not yours anymore. By making things your own you give yourself a trademark look and image. By wearing what the mannequin is wearing, you’re limiting the possibilities and functionality of your wardrobe and hiding your personality under the façade of limits.

When you see something on a mannequin, don’t limit yourself to only how the merchandiser or designer has categorized it. Be free about it. If you don’t like where the belt loops on a dress are hitting, you cut them off and raise or lower your belt to find the smallest part of your waist or the most flattering part for the look you want… or don’t even wear a belt at all. Also, you can even add your own belt if it is not included, or go with a different belt than what is sold with the dress altogether. If you only think you can wear a pencil skirt with heels because that’s what you have seen, try it with a sandal. If you don’t like where a skirt is hitting, you hike it up and secure it with a belt. Or hike it down to where you feel appropriate and wear a longer shirt. If you don’t like the bottom of a shirt, tuck it in or cover it with a belt, or cut it up!  If you don’t like where the sleeve is hitting or how the seam looks, roll it up. Play with things. Don’t limit yourself to only what you see or know. Move things around on your body. Put pieces together that you never would have. Find your inner creativity. Find lengths that fit your body type.

NEVER be limited to your “one size,” and don’t worry about the number.  Numbers don’t matter, fit is what matters. Numbers in the fashion world are just a ploy for marketing and a scam. Oftentimes, I’ll buy a 2x and turn it into a tunic or dress.  Sometimes a 12 fits better in some things, and other times I can squeeze my appendages into an extra small. TRY THINGS ON!

Also, just because something is full price or you saw it on some celebrity, it doesn’t make it special. And it doesn’t mean it has to work for you. It makes it expensive and it makes it “been there, done that.” Plus, those celebrities have stylists calculating their customer’s wardrobes’ every move. Clearance can be a gold mine if you have patience and know your top points about your likes/dislikes, what you are looking for or could use in your closet, and what works for your body going in. Shopping does not have to be overwhelming.

 Dig a little and have fun with your wardrobe.

If you don’t like something, but think you should because it’s “in” right now, or you saw someone else wearing it, don’t buy it. You’ll never wear it and you’ll never be comfortable in it. It’s a waste of money. Shop for YOU, not the image of someone else, or what you want to look like, or some model that had it on. That’s when muffin tops come into play and general clothing chaos. Being honest about your body, your likes and dislikes will take you much farther.  

The one thing that I absolutely hate hearing from girls is that old cliché “I just can’t pull that off.” You can pull ANYTHING off that you believe you can. Pick up your chin and be confident. Most likely you look great. Confidence can go a lot farther in life than it can on a rack.

Don’t think I haven’t put a bra on my head and gotten compliments. Trust me. 😉

Gifts 8, 9 & 10. Done.

20 Dec

All of you who haven’t gotten your gifts for this Sunday are… procrastinating slackers. So here are three ideas to save your holly jolly asses.

8 ) If all else fails call Victoria.

One can never go wrong with Victoria’s secret. I used to think this place was ridiculous… Until I tried on their seamless hiphugger undies… Now I am ready to move in and pay rent.

It doesn’t matter who you are buying for… from their pajamas, to scents, to lingerie, to gift cards… Just say yes. But definitely try out the hiphuggers and prepare to fall in love.

9) Go green.

Scentsy makes purfume. And they are solid. And they are Paraben-free. And they are Sulphate-free. And they are Phthalate-free. And they are Benzene-free. And they are Silicone-free. And they are GMO-free. And they are Propylene glycol-free. And they are Dye-free (no added colorants). Could anything get any free-er?? Maybe your spending budget.

Added bonus, they are never tested on animals.

Anything that smells awesome and can get through an airport is fine by me!

10) Finally, remember the starving children in Africa.

If all else fails and gifts are not an option in these trying times remember to be thankful for what you have.

 I was watching America’s Funniest Home Videos: Christmas Edition. Classic. But surprisingly it wasn’t so funny after all when I was soon appalled by all the children’s temper tantrums when they did not get what they wanted… I think I was most appalled because at one point (or last weekend) that was me.

It is hard to realize how fortunate our lives are when we get our head stuck in the sand of trivial “issues.” How are we raising our evil spawn if they can’t even look around and realize how good they have it? There are many more problems with this society than “no change” and shoeless robbers. The whole thought process on needs and wants and being thankful and opening our eyes to others’ realities needs to be re- imagined.

Try to remember what the season is truly about… love and being around those we care about… not what brand of play-dough you received or how many sparkles your new phone cover doesn’t have.

It’s the fact that we are alive, we have enough to eat, we have a warm place to stay, and they ability to follow our dreams and never give up on finding passion and life in…life.

Girly Gift #7: Colorful Christmas

16 Dec

I’m feeling girly again… watch out!

With hair trends being long, and my hair being long, I get really excited when things get ‘colorful.’ Especially since I have had the same hair style for… the last decade.

Katy Perry is paving the way with bursts of color for the head and I am ready to join in on the fun (I can’t decide if my openness with color is because I’m hanging around more “sparkly” girly-girls or this scrooge-ess is emerging out of her all black closet… either way I’m temporarily TEMPORARILY going with it)

You can get the hair coloring done through oil pastels… but that sounds a little messy for my OCD lifestyle. So I found a great alternative. It’s called Color Bug and it appears to be the mess-free way to get your pink, purple and orange on.

Can you say stocking stuffer??

It’s made by Kevin Murphy out of Australia. You can’t get it on his website, but if you go there you can find salons around your area that carry the stuff.

$25 for a temporary good time (I have commitment issues)… I’m down.

Anyone wanna loan me $25? 😉

FYI 9 days until Christmas!! Like you didn’t know… 😉

Ready, Set, Bedazzle.

30 Nov

I’m am REALLY loving the jewel trend that is happening (so is Dolce & Gabbana!!) and lucky for you it is going to continue next year. It’s perfect for the holidays, but also perfect if you like a little bling in your everyday life… which who can’t use a little A LOT of bling… everywhere?

It’s more classic than the over-saturated market of seqins, but still a great take on a simple concept and one that has been around for … a really long time.

What once was a hobby for young girls, is now couture.

Bedazzle that, fashionistas.

Lanvin

 

Jimmy Choo

 

Miu Miu

 

Dolce & Gabbana

Dolce & Gabbana

 

Dolce & Gabbana

 

Dolce & Gabbana

 

Marchesa

 

Dolce & Gabbana

 

Marchesa

Kohl’s Retail Requiem

13 Oct

I used to be the biggest advocate of Kohl’s. When they pulled their Vera Wang trick out of their bag I was ON the bandwagon ready to go in circles forever. I had sold designer Vera Wang RTW and was floored by the quality and the similarity to her runway collections. The cuts, styles, and prices were a collaboration of awesomeness. That was a few years ago. And I think we are still seeing the same cuts, worse fabric, higher prices, and the jewelry has been falling apart before I can even START to get my money’s worth (I have a mathematical formula.. e-mail for details.). Plus, their sales are not up to my cheap skate standards. Can I get a ‘boo’?

 Now, I have a list of issues with Kohl’s and unfortunately they seem to have reverted back to the crapola end of the fashion spectrum.

1) Lauren Conrad please Go Away. Why is LC considered such a fashion pioneer?? I forget when daddy’s money and an MTV reality status made you the expert on manufacturing clothing and selling it to the masses. No Bueno.

2) Elle?? Why are they trying to make clothes. Is it Elle Magazine or is it some other Elle I don’t know about. Whenever I think of magazines manufacturing things I think of cheap freebies-with-your-subscription, like pointless make-up bags and the smallest scarfs ever made… possibly for midgets… the jury is still out.

3) Daisy Fuentes. Where did she go?? And why isn’t her line ever pushed at Kohl’s?? I never see an ad for Daisy Fuentes’ clothing line possessing the magical power to turn you sexy, give you an accent, and push up your non-existent breasts into something similar to water balloons filled with pudding, whilst putting them at a geographic location closer to your neck than your belly button. “I want to go to there.”

4) The big Finale… Waaaaiiit for it… J. Lo and Marc Anthony… wait… what?? I didn’t think there was any more products left out there in retail land that didn’t have J. Lo’s name on it. But alas she has found another way to brand herself and simultaneously sell herself out.(Also, besides Kohl’s I see her in some stupid car commercial…does she even drive??!?! Doesn’t she have minions for that?) Congrats. The impossible is possible if you are a bajillionaire that isn’t sure you’re quiiiiiite rich enough. AND Marc Anthony??!? WTF Kohl’s?? Did you get a package deal before the divorce papers were signed?? When has Marc Anthony ever been known for style. Honestly, the first word that comes to mind is “latin-skeeze” (apparently spell-check says this is not a word… I would like to disagree.) I wouldn’t recommend any man trying to recreate that… unless they are divorcing a bajillionaire and don’t really need their style to snag the ladies… when they have alimony in their corner.

Kohls, Look away from the light!

Go International Goes for Jason Wu

3 Oct

Now this is what I’m talking about.

Everybody freaked out over the Missoni for Target launch. I’ve never been a huge Missoni fan… it seems like a pattern my great grandma would have worn. I know, I’m crazy. 

But today Target announced that they will be collaborating with Jason Wu for their next designer team-up through their Go International Program. Yes please. Get excited!!!

Past designers who participated in this program included Zac Posen, Rodarte, and Thakoon.

In case you aren’t familiar with Jason Wu… you can ask Google… Google knows EVERYTHING. Or you may remember he also was a major fixture during the Obama presidential win, by dressing a certain person called Michelle Obama for THE major presidential event, the inaugural ball.  Yeah, THAT Jason Wu.

 

LFW: S/S 2012

30 Sep

I suck. I know. I’m so behind. London fashion week has come and gone and we are already in Milan and I have neglected to acknowledge it! But here is a recap from London for S/S 2012. Woop Woop.

1) Pastels

2) Maxi

3) Boyfriend Jacket

4) Floral

5) Graphic Nails

6) Yellow

Fashion Week Spring 2012 Recap

19 Sep

So NYC Fashion week for spring 2012 is officially over… Kleenex anyone? 

There are some main ideas that came out of the fashion filled week with over 300 shows. Here are some highlights that stood out to me that should be considered in the upcoming months…hard to think that spring will be here before we know it! 🙂

1) Ponytails-  were EVERYWHERE. Low to high. Forget fixing your hair in the morning, instead opt to pull it back and get creative.

Marchesa

2) Peplum- Many fabrics were silky and flowy with  a lot of movement however there was much structure especially in the form of peplum. Helllllooooo 80’s, you are obviously here to stay.

Jason Wu

3) T-shirt gowns- Long and casual was the way to go with this classic and simple style.

4) Lower hemlines-  The lower hemline is sticking around for quite a while. Pleats are a forward style for this trend.

5) Crazy Color and Fun Floral- Color blocking is everywhere. The brighter the better. Even neon made a statement on the runways. Floral is also still here, but less romantic and going for a more graphic/ artistic look and moving from dreses to everywhere else, including pants.

Alexander Wang

Proenza Schouler

6) The perfect pant- The skinny pant is not going anywhere but slouchy is also an alternative to the “suck it in” style… for those “water weight” days.

Theyskens Theory

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