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So let’s talk about first impressions.

13 Sep

My days on a college campus are several. And one thing that seems to be getting carried away is the lack of complete self-respect when it comes to presenting yourself in a positive light.

I realize sweats and gym clothes and flip-flops and UGGs (ugh) and generally looking like you rolled out of bed, are going through a divorce, your cat just died, or you have been swallowed into a vat of heaping depression is the “look” these days for most 18-22 year olds… and beyond on a campus. Congratulations. Reallll original. Said no one ever.

This trend is also seeping into daily life,  going out gear, and especially the go-to shopping uniform. But COME ON!

Do you realize that people make their first impression of you as a human being within the first 5 seconds of meeting you and that impression is based 90% on what you have decided to put on your body?

This is a SERIOUS issue that many young girls and boys (and older boys and girls… I do not discriminate based on age only outfits) are not taking seriously. Why would you want to put the impression out there that you are lazy, have zero taste, and generally have no respect regarding your appearance or the rest of the world that is going to have to see you? My eyes are burning!

Thus leading to an even bigger challenge of having to overcome that first impression in a future situation that you may want or NEED to be taken seriously or may be looking to benefit from the relationship. That hurdle to overcome a first impression is like a high jumper in the Olympics highest goal to overcome. And odds are you will be face-planting onto the pole nose first.

It is much easier to present yourself in a professional and adult manner in the beginning… and then run yourself into the ground by sticking your foot in your mouth or telling an off-color joke or bringing up politics later that will effectively ruin your image just as well (I have NO experience THAT whatsoever so don’t even ask…….)

People get it together. If you want to be taken seriously in a world where image is everything and jobs and future survival is not as easy as it looks on reality TV, you need to be taking the steps in daily life to set yourself up for networking and opportunities in the future. Pretty sure no one ever made it big with a sloppy bun and a hoodie sweatshirt. (Unless you put out… then maybe. 😉 )

Plus, if everyone is wearing the exact hideousness then how are you setting yourself apart from the crowd? Oh, wait, you aren’t. And no one is ever going to take you seriously or remember you. EVER.

Welcome to reality where the judgements are fast and harsh and the judges are around every corner.

Can you see it now?

5 Jul

Apparently when one becomes an adult, things change. Which, PS!!, I wish they had more classes for these things
 not just how to use a condom(which that doesn’t seem to have sunk in with a majority of the population), but maybe more tips on how to do taxes, where to buy anti-wrinkle cream that tastes good, and how to budget when watching late night infomercials. Who do I need to write a letter to?!

I have discovered that one of those scintillating changes include acne getting a promoted title
 and becoming “adult acne.” hawt.

Adult acne, as many of you know, is super fun!

Not really.

It’s a huge bitch.

I thought acne would stop when my raging hormone driven outbursts and bi-polar tendencies once a month were leveled out by the coming of age trek through college and into hell. AKA “Adult-dom.” 

But those seem to be sticking around too.

So basically, being adult is the same as being a kid you just get to have sex legally and make trips to the DMV for fun. My assumption that once I turned 18
 or 21
 or 25
30??…  my face would miraculously become  the photo shopped- porcelain- envy of all to behold
was apparently  ridiculous!! because I’m still applying anything green to anything red on my face like color wheel math or Christmas day is going to save the “situation” on my new adult version skin.

Think again.

I tried Bare Essentials 
 and it worked real well
 but lucky for us they just discovered it is going to give cancer conveniently to the entire female masses
 Which what isn’t amiright? I’m at the cancer stage where it’s not IF I’m gonna get it
 it’s WHICH one am I going to get (taking bets now) and let’s hope either the guy who has the secret recipe to curing cancer gets it before me or I get the kind that goes real fast so I can die with my flaw ridden skin intact and bright red.

I also tried a Clarisonic
 I really like it
 on my patient days
 you know those days when 2 minutes doesn’t feel like a year in a Chuckie Cheese at kid happy hour. Both painful.

But THEN my friend invited me to a “makeup” party. Ya know, one of those parties where you wanna go for the free food (and moral support offff coooourse 😉 )but you really don’t want to buy anything and it immediately turns into a see-saw of guilt and being a cheap ass for the whole evening, that you just end up drinking the entire booze section of the free table and go ahead and purchase the entire catalog that is offered
 waking up the next day feeling as if you’ve hit rock bottom and promising yourself you’ll get your shit together… soon
 and keep it in your wallet.

Well SOMETHING like that happened, but my purchase was not rock bottom
 it was a ray of light from the heavens.

It’s called Jordan Essentials and everyone with sensitive skin, hard to deal with skin, or just skin at all needs to try it. (WARNING: If you don’t have skin then this is not for you.)

I got the oatmeal facial bar and am proud to announce I feel like dancing around with an umbrella and pulling my hair back for alllll the world to see.

They have makeup, self tanner, deodorant, lotion
 basically EVERYTHING you could EVER want. (Besides anti- depression medication
 and triple gallon sized bottles of wine
 you have to go elsewhere for that.)

Jordan Essentials products are made with high quality ingredients such as, Shea Butter, Soy, Coconut oil, Dead Sea Salts, Beeswax, and Grapeseed oils. They avoid ingredients such as DEA, isopropyl alcohol, mineral oil, parabens, SLS/SLES and aluminum.

So you’re saying there’s only a 58.999999923451…% of it giving you cancer? Sign me up!!

Here’s the link.

You’re welcome.

Rule #1: There Are NO Rules

28 Jun

It always blows my mind how often clothes can be construed to have rules. I take my friends shopping and they don’t think they are “allowed” to go outside of the box when it comes to dressing.

This is absolutely not so. If you can do anything when shopping (besides shopping only in the clearance section ;)) the #1 best thing is to have an open mind.

Clothes absolutely have no rules.

When you give clothes the power to have rules, it is the moment when your own style is not yours anymore. By making things your own you give yourself a trademark look and image. By wearing what the mannequin is wearing, you’re limiting the possibilities and functionality of your wardrobe and hiding your personality under the façade of limits.

When you see something on a mannequin, don’t limit yourself to only how the merchandiser or designer has categorized it. Be free about it. If you don’t like where the belt loops on a dress are hitting, you cut them off and raise or lower your belt to find the smallest part of your waist or the most flattering part for the look you want
 or don’t even wear a belt at all. Also, you can even add your own belt if it is not included, or go with a different belt than what is sold with the dress altogether. If you only think you can wear a pencil skirt with heels because that’s what you have seen, try it with a sandal. If you don’t like where a skirt is hitting, you hike it up and secure it with a belt. Or hike it down to where you feel appropriate and wear a longer shirt. If you don’t like the bottom of a shirt, tuck it in or cover it with a belt, or cut it up!  If you don’t like where the sleeve is hitting or how the seam looks, roll it up. Play with things. Don’t limit yourself to only what you see or know. Move things around on your body. Put pieces together that you never would have. Find your inner creativity. Find lengths that fit your body type.

NEVER be limited to your “one size,” and don’t worry about the number.  Numbers don’t matter, fit is what matters. Numbers in the fashion world are just a ploy for marketing and a scam. Oftentimes, I’ll buy a 2x and turn it into a tunic or dress.  Sometimes a 12 fits better in some things, and other times I can squeeze my appendages into an extra small. TRY THINGS ON!

Also, just because something is full price or you saw it on some celebrity, it doesn’t make it special. And it doesn’t mean it has to work for you. It makes it expensive and it makes it “been there, done that.” Plus, those celebrities have stylists calculating their customer’s wardrobes’ every move. Clearance can be a gold mine if you have patience and know your top points about your likes/dislikes, what you are looking for or could use in your closet, and what works for your body going in. Shopping does not have to be overwhelming.

 Dig a little and have fun with your wardrobe.

If you don’t like something, but think you should because it’s “in” right now, or you saw someone else wearing it, don’t buy it. You’ll never wear it and you’ll never be comfortable in it. It’s a waste of money. Shop for YOU, not the image of someone else, or what you want to look like, or some model that had it on. That’s when muffin tops come into play and general clothing chaos. Being honest about your body, your likes and dislikes will take you much farther.  

The one thing that I absolutely hate hearing from girls is that old clichĂ© “I just can’t pull that off.” You can pull ANYTHING off that you believe you can. Pick up your chin and be confident. Most likely you look great. Confidence can go a lot farther in life than it can on a rack.

Don’t think I haven’t put a bra on my head and gotten compliments. Trust me. 😉

Gifts 8, 9 & 10. Done.

20 Dec

All of you who haven’t gotten your gifts for this Sunday are… procrastinating slackers. So here are three ideas to save your holly jolly asses.

8 ) If all else fails call Victoria.

One can never go wrong with Victoria’s secret. I used to think this place was ridiculous… Until I tried on their seamless hiphugger undies… Now I am ready to move in and pay rent.

It doesn’t matter who you are buying for… from their pajamas, to scents, to lingerie, to gift cards… Just say yes. But definitely try out the hiphuggers and prepare to fall in love.

9) Go green.

Scentsy makes purfume. And they are solid. And they are Paraben-free. And they are Sulphate-free. And they are Phthalate-free. And they are Benzene-free. And they are Silicone-free. And they are GMO-free. And they are Propylene glycol-free. And they are Dye-free (no added colorants). Could anything get any free-er?? Maybe your spending budget.

Added bonus, they are never tested on animals.

Anything that smells awesome and can get through an airport is fine by me!

10) Finally, remember the starving children in Africa.

If all else fails and gifts are not an option in these trying times remember to be thankful for what you have.

 I was watching America’s Funniest Home Videos: Christmas Edition. Classic. But surprisingly it wasn’t so funny after all when I was soon appalled by all the children’s temper tantrums when they did not get what they wanted… I think I was most appalled because at one point (or last weekend) that was me.

It is hard to realize how fortunate our lives are when we get our head stuck in the sand of trivial “issues.” How are we raising our evil spawn if they can’t even look around and realize how good they have it? There are many more problems with this society than “no change” and shoeless robbers. The whole thought process on needs and wants and being thankful and opening our eyes to others’ realities needs to be re- imagined.

Try to remember what the season is truly about… love and being around those we care about… not what brand of play-dough you received or how many sparkles your new phone cover doesn’t have.

It’s the fact that we are alive, we have enough to eat, we have a warm place to stay, and they ability to follow our dreams and never give up on finding passion and life in…life.

Girly Gift #7: Colorful Christmas

16 Dec

I’m feeling girly again… watch out!

With hair trends being long, and my hair being long, I get really excited when things get ‘colorful.’ Especially since I have had the same hair style for… the last decade.

Katy Perry is paving the way with bursts of color for the head and I am ready to join in on the fun (I can’t decide if my openness with color is because I’m hanging around more “sparkly” girly-girls or this scrooge-ess is emerging out of her all black closet… either way I’m temporarily TEMPORARILY going with it)

You can get the hair coloring done through oil pastels… but that sounds a little messy for my OCD lifestyle. So I found a great alternative. It’s called Color Bug and it appears to be the mess-free way to get your pink, purple and orange on.

Can you say stocking stuffer??

It’s made by Kevin Murphy out of Australia. You can’t get it on his website, but if you go there you can find salons around your area that carry the stuff.

$25 for a temporary good time (I have commitment issues)… I’m down.

Anyone wanna loan me $25? 😉

FYI 9 days until Christmas!! Like you didn’t know… 😉

Baby it’s cold outside, but my coffee is hot, Hot, HOT.

14 Dec

 Pinterest I found the coolest thing ever… dudes listen up too.

Who hates cold coffee?


These little knick knacks lower your coffee heat to an appropriate temperature… that doesn’t scald your lips off while simultaneously putting your tongue out of commission for 2-20ish days… but they also keep your beverage warm and stable at the correct and pleasant temperature; keeping both lips and tongue in the desired condition… attached.

Yes please.

These little magic beans are called Coffe Joulies and they keep your coffee at the proper temperature for five hours, they last a lifetime, they can be used in any kind of beverage including hot chocolate and tea, and right now you can get 20% off of 5/$50. In my world $50 is a whole week of I’m broke as hell funds life budgeting, so you have to weigh the importance of your coffee experience with your wallet.

Where do you sign up??


Holy Grail # 4: Magneto’s in da house

12 Dec

I must be feeling girly again… I hadn’t ever heard of this stuff, but I paint my nails more often than I sneeze and am always looking for new ways to change it. Nails are like a wardrobe update that doesn’t cost very much, is easy to coordinate, and is way less permanent than a same as everybody else tattoo.

Thanks to Pinterest and my free workdays evenings, I have discovered the BEST way to get creative and still have nice/unique looking nails.

It’s magnetic nail polish by Nails Inc. London and how it works is you paint your nails like normal and before it dries you run the magnet (included on the bottle) over your nails to create a design. Can you say genius?? And good for ALL ages?? Who WOULDN’T want this, honestly??


You can get it at Sephora for $16 or a pack of 3 for $30.

Holy Grail #3: Curl City

9 Dec

I’m a girl…Surprise!! 😉  So these ideas may or may not be girl driven. Depends on my mood, and where I am in the PMS cycle.

But today I must be feeling very estrogen-y because, Ta-da!, I have found THE eyelash curler to have in the entire universe! Thanks to my girl Katie… shout out.

I don’t usually curl my eyelashes… curlers seem to make them droopier as the day goes on (I’m working on a scientific way to prove this) and I have fairly long lashes to begin with, so no need, plus most curlers I use hurt to curl them and I fear they may rip the lashes out of my eyes and that shit takes 7 years to grow back!! No thank you.

It’s the Japonesque Go-Curl pocket eyelash curler. You can get it on Amazon for $12. (Best $12 I ever spent) You get an extra pad included and they replace your pads for the life of the product.

Trust me after 30 seconds of curl your lashes will be BEYOND sky-high, AND it lasts allllll day! I even washed my face, slept and woke up and my lashes were STILL curly. Additionally, it’s a nice ‘pick me up’ on those “no make up for moi” days. Talk about effective. And I know it works on everyone because a group of us with various lash lengths and types tested it out and it was effective on ALL of us.

Forget mascara that supposed to make your lashes lucious… this curler is all anyone ever needs. Ever.

Life. Changed.

Holy Grail Gift # Dos: Smart Travel

8 Dec

I’ve decided just to do the 18 days of christmas gifting… THERE ARE ONLY 18 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!… OMG!…WHERE’S THE SCOTCH TAPE!?!?! Get on it people!

Yesterday, I covered the Iphone juice pack… Today is for the traveler.

I am a girl… and I lift like a girl…and I travel like a crazy homeless person… and I pack like your typical woman with 12 imaginary kids + a very real shopping problem + everyone’s favorite must-have hoarding syndrome.

So yeah, when travelling, I’m that chick in line pulling out her underwear and perfume magazine samples to see if it will make her bag weigh less. Surprisingly neither underwear nor perfume magazine samples weigh as much as one would hope.

Also, I have figured out that weighing yourself… and then weighing yourself struggling to hold a 65+ lb suitcase… and hoping it’s really 49.999 lbs…. and the appropriate size to house 2+ hobbits… and all the while harboring both the muscle mass and balance of a toddler… isn’t as accurate as one would hope either. 

But recently while helping a close friend with the same packhorse syndrome open her wedding gifts I discovered the next ‘holy grail’ find! Yes, another one!

It’s the Balanzza Ergonomic Digital Luggage scale. What?!?!? You mean you just attach this handy little appliance that looks like a Wii controller to your suitcase and lift… and it gives me an accurate reading?!?!? Yes, that is exactly what I mean.

Sold. Sign me up. I’ll take 6.

 AND it’s only $20. AND you can get it at Wal-Mart. Who doesn’t love Wal-Mart?? Don’t answer that. I’m sure you can get it other places.

I know this is probably a well-known gadget for a lot of people. But hey now,  I don’t get out much.

Ready, Set, Bedazzle.

30 Nov

I’m am REALLY loving the jewel trend that is happening (so is Dolce & Gabbana!!) and lucky for you it is going to continue next year. It’s perfect for the holidays, but also perfect if you like a little bling in your everyday life… which who can’t use a little A LOT of bling… everywhere?

It’s more classic than the over-saturated market of seqins, but still a great take on a simple concept and one that has been around for … a really long time.

What once was a hobby for young girls, is now couture.

Bedazzle that, fashionistas.



Jimmy Choo


Miu Miu


Dolce & Gabbana

Dolce & Gabbana


Dolce & Gabbana


Dolce & Gabbana




Dolce & Gabbana



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