Tag Archives: listening

Wait. What’s that noise??

29 Oct

They say when people hear their names it resonates with them and makes them trust people, wanting to embrace others.

All my life  I’ve been terrified that I’m a self obsessed narcissist. Which most likely means I am. But as I get older and find more clever ways to hide my craziness, I have had the ability to look at others and notice patterns that evolve across us all.

We all want to talk about ourselves.  DUH the world revolves around ME didn’t you know?!?

But if you ONLY listen to people and just let them carry the conversations and tone of communication, they will talk forever about themselves and never once ask about the other… or get tired… or run out of topics (relax…. I only know this from PERSONAL experience… Why, hello my little blog. ) 😉

I’ve been testing this theory, only listening and not bringing it back to “TA DAH! here I am and this is what I like and think and do and everyone should be just like me!! TADAHHHH!” and unfortunately for me it is harder than I had hoped. #insertfoot

But why is this so? And when did it become ok? Are we really all that self-obsessed… and with the evolution of social media and ever-increasing channels to perfect our image, is this, at the same time, creating a monster of the dissolution of public service and charity and REALLY having compassion for others and their problems?

I’ll admit people’s problems seem to be becoming more like reality television than Walter Cronkite. Oh, you didn’t get those $200 shoes you HAD to have at full price because you’re on a budget… and now you’re just gonna DIIIEEEEEE #whitegirlproblems #passthewine

Unfortunately, people who listen to others lamenting  90% of the time are only looking for a place to [insertwhitegirlproblem#366here] and bring the conversation around to themselves and their own personal frame of reference… at varying levels of course from crazy to shutthehellup. Additionally, media/society and consumerism are completely driving this trend.

You will, though, make it very far in social circles if you will just listen. People LOVE anyone that will listen to WHATEVER… from their cat taking a shit yesterday to real issues like a death in the family or what they ate for lunch. Maybe it’s called networking, or maybe it’s just called listening.

I think the more you put others first or allow them to believe it’s all about them, the more they will appreciate your presence. But how REAL is that really? By talking about ourselves in a roundtable over cocktails or during the The Real Housewives [insertwhatevercityisYOURfave] marathon, are we really creating meaningful relationships or are we creating a facade that others must care about US when really everyone just cares about themselves?

Does anyone seriously care in return, or do they just care that others care? (There is a lot of caring going around amiright?)

At a definitive crossroads in being social, being young, being a hermit, and being old  and bitter, I often wonder where does one go from there? If you are listening constantly, when do you realize its an ok time for you to speak or admit that maybe you need someone to listen to you? At that point are you just fulfilling the inner ego or is it just a matter of  remaining sane… and letting it all out through verbal diarrhea?

Can someone go their whole lives only being there for others and losing themselves in the process? Or is that only half a meaningful relationship?

Is communication a necessity or is it a luxury that many take for granted?

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