Tag Archives: Women

Hey, Nice Couch

6 Feb


They say in relationships what you put up with is what you will get.

When it comes to straddling the ever lowering fence of getting to know one another over dinner and theatre dates to being in a “normal” relationship how long should you climb?

When the beginning “dating” period is over and as a couple you are becoming more comfortable with one another when is the appropriate time to say “whatever” and give up on the planning and beautifying anxiety ridden preparations? I understand its the natural progression of relationships… but shouldn’t there be a little bit left for some in-public shenanigans?

As a female in America fighting for respect and any kind of romance or sparkle daily, when is the right time to give up the fancy fight and say f**K it… allowing your significant other to become ultimately lazy letting the “relationship” period pull its dark hood over your coupledom’s head?

Is this something to fight for? Or is it really just acceptable to waive your white flag and start making nightly dinners followed by Netflix movies and late night romcom’s followed by morning scrambled eggs?

As Valentine’s approaches I realize that oftentimes when you are “supposed” to be going out due to a national holiday… or hallmark coming out as a drug user of steroids… I wonder should we continue to expect someone to WANT to bring on the sparkle for all of time… or are sweatpants and takeout food just the normal sequence of events? I can’t help but want to fight the urge of such a thing known as comfort… just to keep the special. Perhaps if not avoiding the monotony of TV and couple supermarket trips means that you have made it in the quest of relationships and dating. Instinctly, I want to pull a mulligan and resign from the game. On this path… the only next logical move is farting in bed and tweezing each other’s eyebrows. Or perhaps, it is worth the fight to keep the fantasy… at least one night a week? As women isn’t that what it’s all about? Being single for most of my life, I appreciate the fun and glitter of dating and making plans and having something to look forward to.

However, if examining oneanother’s boogers and foot cramps really is the reality of the situation, I’d rather keep my reality to Keeping Up with the Kardashians and become a serial first dater… until I’ve reached Betty White status at least.

I guess thank gawd for Match.com and Ben and Jerry’s.

Here come the snuggies. *le sigh


Crappy Clooney

20 Oct

This must be his secret mating dance to snagging all the hot women.

I think George Clooney is starting to redefine the definition of an asshole. And he’s flaunting his killer skills… on every red carpet, in every country, and in every magazine. And these women just flock to him like they’re gonna be different than the last. But it’s the EXACT same scenario… and it all starts with his boat on Lake Como… 

Plus, he has announced his plan publicly to remain a bachelor until death… which is nearing with every new woman. 

A pattern has definitely been established ladies, let’s cut the crap on the shock and hurt when shit goes south.

I used to be down with his playboy ways and brushed it off as picky and independent. But now he is starting to wear women like sweaters. Once he’s done with one he can always go buy another when the new season runways have presented better updated versions. But he does the same things with each of them… It’s a like the same tune just a different day… or lady. Deja Vu. 

And I mean I was totally down with his handsomeness…especially in the Ocean’s movies may I point out… but we have now hit 50, gravity is looming its dark head, bringing tackiness with it (as well as the ability to be a grandfather)… and he’s starting to look skeezy, as the women get younger and the transition periods get shorter.

Is anyone else getting the impression that he’s got a plan B, C, D…Z even before his current flavor just doesn’t taste right anymore or it’s expiration date has passed??  😦

Don’t do it George… I really want to like you!

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