I’ll “Push” Whatever You Want

Rachel Zoe's "push" gift

When did “push” gifts become a thing?? I may be out of the loop because children, pregnancy, and giving birth both grotesque and terrify me. But after watching The Real Housewives of OC and Rachel Zoe making out like bandits after giving birth makes me reconsider. Rachel Zoe’s “push” gift was compensation that I would kill for much less have a baby for. Isn’t the point of having children that the prize at the end is the baby?

But wait!! Our society has thrown in an added bonus and I am thinking… sign me up!! Hells yes if I’m getting 10 carats of ANYTHING to do what God and Mother Nature intended me to do for free I’ll run away and join the Duggar’s (it would be like running away to join the circus but way more sparkly and more my style ;)). 

If this is the way it works now, forget just ONE baby I’ll have a dozen!!!… and then maybe I can have my own reality show, too. A reality show where all my kids are running around screaming…all the while I’m draped in diamonds and other lavish gifts… you know whatever is decided upon before the conception of course.

I think these “push” gifts are gonna start needing contractual clarification. If you’re gonna go through hell, one had better make sure that they are FULLY compensated for it and that noone backs out of their end of the deal after nine months… unless it’s the baby that changes his mind… that might be ok.