THE Answer to Happiness… or AN Answer at Least

Alot of people have come to me recently, after reading my blog and wanting to start their own blog, asking me how I do it, what to do, how to get started, what if people don’t like it, how to pick  topics, etc, etc.

And I say to them…Copiers!! haha just kidding… maybe 😉

However, the real answer: There is no method to my madness and that’s what it is… madness. My brain is on overload all day long 24/7 (I have a hard time getting my brain to shut off just to go to sleep).

I think a public forum, such as a blog, is more along the lines of a journal and therapeutic, for myself personally. I have no idea what I’m doing, but know that I really like it and foremost it’s for me, plus I really don’t care what other people think (Thank goodness right?? If I did, I would need a rock and a hole really quick to go hide in).

I got some nasty comments awhile back and decided then and there, either I back up what I’m saying and by doing that I’m backing up who I am… or I don’t… and then if I don’t, I have no business writing on the internet anyways.

These are philosophies that need to be used in everyone’s life in anything you choose to do. If you can’t support, believe in, and love yourself then why should anyone else? (My mom is chuckling to herself right now saying “I told you so!” Lord help me.)

I believe in the concepts of, if you build it they will come, if you do what you love then good things will come from it, and “hard work beats talent, when talent doesn’t work hard.”

Whether it be sports, or having children, or collecting stamps, or chasing chickens… if you do what you love, put yourself out there, and work hard at it… then you have achieved something within yourself that no one else can take away from you. That love and desire, that passion in something will shine and attract others to the positiveness, HOPEFULLY bringing about “aha” moments and direction in life, leading to the ultimate happiness.

And that’s what life is truly about, right? Being happy, following your dreams, and making the most of what you’ve got.

Fashion Alert: Get Your Fringe On.

Thank goodness for me… and the hippie side of my personality or yours!… fringe everything is in and the longer the better. Fringe just makes everything look awesome (in my opinion, that is). So whether you are going to school, work, out on the town, or your local music festival, be sure to bring your own form of fringe. Fringe offers an unlimited amount of movement, putting it’s wearer at the center of attention and people can see you coming from a mile away!

This season and the rest of the year fringe was all over bags, fringe was all over the body, fringe was all over shoes, and fringe was all over jewelry as well.

Additionally, who doesn’t love a good pair of Native American inspired moccasins to pose as a serious staple in any wardrobe. Check out Converse’s take on them below. I dare you to pull that off!

With fringe you can have a little bit of it or ALOT of it!… Full fringe ensemble anyone?? Ralph Lauren sure was liking the head-to-toe fringe within his Western inspired runways. All this fringe talk is making me want to head to my nearest leather goods store and get creative!

From high fashion to High Times, fringe is a welcome “must” for 2011.

The Voice=Awesome.

So last night I switched back to the “real world” watching network television, and veered away from my pampered cable lifestyle. And it was worth it! (I haven’t watched a competition series since the 200th season of Survivor graced us with its presence…again).

Last night I watched The Voice on NBC and it totally rocked my…ears. 😉 If you didn’t see it, don’t worry there is an encore of it tonight at 9/8c and you will be glad for once that something on TV is the length of a feature film. First off, Adam Levine is smoking hot (that’s all you need right?), Christina Aguilera was normal, coming off her pedastal and becoming accessible (plus she really hung with the guys), Blake Shelton totally won me over as a nice guy and not as “cuntree” as I once thought (I still have less than positive things to say about his fiance, but that is another post), and Cee Lo Green… his sparkly whites were enough to get me smilin’.

I think Blake got the best people on his team overall. But The Voice was like a really, really, really, really, really, really, really refreshing American Idol. There were only good singers (my ears thank you NBC) and no pill-popping Paula’s, no Simon slams, no “dawg’s” anywhere in sight. And above all no Ryan Seacrests!! Carson Daly is host, proving that hosting really is his gift from the universe and it was good to see him fulfilling his mindless chattering destiny.

 I totally recommend catching the encore tonight and you can thank me later 🙂

Dry Cleaning Downer

It’s 2011, right?? Technology abounds, right?? The economy is in the crapper, right? So why is dry cleaning still a viable expectation??

 

I don’t dry clean. I don’t even consider dry cleaning. Dry cleaning is for rich people in movies with somewhere fancy to go to and the dry cleaning is presented to cause a wardrobe malfunction in turn causing the plot to thicken for the forlorn female character. Okay maybe I’m getting carried away, but let’s be real… dry cleaning sucks (a few of my sweaters may disagree), it’s expensive, it’s time-consuming, and I don’t think it should exist.

 

I wash everything in the washer, and if it doesn’t survive it doesn’t make the cut (I have a weird complex that I think GOD sends me clothes and if he doesn’t want me to have something he takes it away and vice versa… I know, I know, I’m shopping therapists as we speak). I feel as if dry cleaning is a suggestion not a requirement. I don’t even know where a good dry cleaner is or how I would even go about presenting my soiled items to the man. And what if he screws it up worse than my machine?? Do I kick him too? Or just accept it and pay him my hard-earned dollars cussing on my way out the door??

 

Perhaps dry cleaning is a use that comes with age. Or perhaps we are in the age where if dry cleaning is needed, we obviously haven’t achieved far enough advancements in fabrics for my liking and I need to have a talk with someone in charge of this scam. Capiche? Capiche.

Magnum Gold

Magnum Coffee

If you haven’t had Magnum then you haven’t been living. Magnum ice cream that is.

This ice cream is solid gold (and yes you may be thinking isn’t that a condom brand?? and you are right!). Except this Magnum is orgasmic… for your taste buds… and finally in the states! Rachel Bilson is in the new ad for the ice cream’s launch in America and get excited! She makes it hot and the ice cream will cool you down. 😉

This literally is the BEST stuff out there and I always wished I could get it across the pond and now we can… just in time for summer! My favorite is the white chocolate or the Magnum Gold. They may not have made it here yet, but hopefully they will be coming to America Eddie Murphy style. It seems as though only the Classic Magnum is available currently (I know bummer, but support the brand and hopefully we will get all the delicious flavors) and you can purchase it at Wal-Mart… Does it get any better?

Oh wait, yeah it does.

The advertisements starring Bilson are part of a series directed by … you’ll never guess… Karl Lagerfeld!!

Ice cream has never been so fashionable… and sassy!

My day is made. The end.

It's Raining, It's Pouring… Drive People.

If you haven’t heard… the midwest is experiencing a flood. I moved OUT of Seattle to get away from the rain, but nontheless it has followed me. Wah, wah, wah.

What I don’t understand is the temporary paralyzation that people get while driving when it is raining. It’s like drivers have snorkel fins taped to their feet just in case they get washed away and need to swim to shore, but in the meantime it affects their ability to push the gas pedal and move forward.

Just because it is raining you aren’t going to melt…unless you are the Wicked Witch of the West (which if you are in that case you should be at home back in OZ wrapped in garbage bags hiding under plastic furniture… and unless your car is created from the remnants of the Wicked Witch of the West it’s not going to melt either, so I think you are safe to drive like a normal person).

It’s as if maybe everyone is in awe of the shiny wet stuff on the pavement that is so distracting that they can’t remember how to drive… they must be new at this or something? It’s rain. It doesn’t bite. It’s not Robert Pattinson in Twilight raining down in his sparkly glory (look away from the sparkle!). You can still function and all your limbs still work efficiently in it.

I suggest this when driving in the rain… look away from the shiny wet stuff, push the gas pedal, and go. Thank you!

Evil Kneival Dreams Shattered

Helmuts are for wusses. duh.

I thought I was fated to be the next Evil Kneival, paving the way for all the daredevil women in the world, but unfortunately at a young(ish) age I had my life nearly robbed from the clutches of my juvenile fingertips making me very aware that death is eminent and I would like to live until a natural death occurs, in my bed, at approximately the age of 75 (however, by that time I may change the golden number to 85… you know with all the technology and stuff).

When I was younger my Evil Kneival balls were tested at the hand of a miniature dirtbike that changed the course of my destiny and the rights of all women to be fearless forever.

My dad would often bring home random things. He had a beat up old blue van (I mentioned it before but from the age of 5-15 it was the center of my universe…much to my dismay) and if it could fit in the van, he would bring it home.

I had the most exciting van ride of my life to date when he squeezed in a miniature pony and we got to ride shotgun with it’s head in the middle ready to surprise mom with his exit from the vehicle (to say my childhood was out of the ordinary is an understatement).

So one day he brought home a miniature dirtbike (I know I say everything is better in miniature, but if it can achieve speeds of over 10 MPH and can crash… bigger is always better). Let the heavens open up and rain sunshine down on me and my brother’s excitement. It was so mini that it made the SMART cars look like a lifted limo hummer that you need a ladder to enter and exit from.

It was the David of all motorized bikes.

So collectively (me, my brother, and my dad… our mother wasn’t around for the disasterous strikes in my childhood… probably why they happened) we decided it would be awesome to race. Stop watch: check, knees level with handlebars: check, wide open spaces: check. We were ready and I was fully determined to beat the crap out of any time my brother put forth (although, I argue he had a serious advantage with his legs not impending his steering abilities).

Fortunately, to our aid, the track was set where you would have to burn rubber to get up the cascading mountain of a driveway and the momentum up the hill would catapult you at flying rates around the curve at the top and back down. This sounds like an added bonus right?! Hells yes!

So we take our turns and put up solid numbers on the scoreboard. But it is tight and the best out of three had better have my name on it. After a couple trial runs, I feel completely comfortable to take it up a notch with the speed. I get my run at the hill and we are going faster than before and I catapult around the curve and we are going REALLY fast…so fast that I feel like a bird… flying and WINNING and I can taste the victory!!….

Well that victory was abruptly shattered at the sight of a fence. I was catapulting alright… catapulting directly into barb wire and my long ass legs are impending my turn. I finally jerk the handles, simultaneously flipping the dirt bike over to frog (this is something that is not as fun nor green as it sounds and has nothing to do with amphibias) both my precious knees and take out the ENTIRE fence….we are talking like 50 ft of fence.

So here I am wedged under the fence screaming bloody murder and feeling the impending death that I know is coming for me as my life flashes before my eyes.

All I can thank the Lord for is that the fence gave way to crumple on top of me instead of decapitating me.

Talk about a sour experience. I will never get on a motorcycle to this day (unless I have a huge puffy prom dress with more tulle than Vera Wang knows what to do with and a professional photographer to capture my beauty, demure, and awe).

Miniature may not always be better and I have the scars to prove it. But, oh what could have been!! if I had dominated that dirtbike and today would possibly be the next Danica Patrick.

Damn the destiny.

Words with Friends: A Game, NOT a Career Move

So I learned about the APP “Words with Friends” this weekend and not only am I addicted, I also learned that I SUCK at Scrabble (Suck might be an understatement).

There is like a permanent disconnect between my brain and any words that are over four letters. Plus, I can’t seem to multitask my wisdom to consider the benefits of triple letters, double words, double anything to use to my advantage (To be fair, I am the girl that struggles with doing ANYTHING simultaneously… walking and chewing gum?? They didn’t ask my opinion when creating the analogy). My strongest play thus far is adding an ‘s’ to all words that my oppenents come up with, stealing their thunder and leaving them with a brick wall for their next move. Insert evil laugh: Bwahahahaha. 😉

If there was a short bus for unjumbling words and making them coherent I would be the driver. What do you mean that JARLY isn’t a word??!?! This complex problem was first noticed when I tried to test into honors Kindergarten and failed miserably after 30 minutes of trying to put together a 10 piece puzzle only to realize when time was up that the missing piece was 6 inches out of my eye shot. EPIC FAIL… it has haunted me ever since and I hold complete disdain for puzzles to this day.

So if anyone is looking for an ego boost be sure to challenge me in a game… my username is LEREIT. You are guaranteed to feel smart after a couple of breeze through wins. And don’t worry I don’t mind losing painfully to everyone I know (I categorize it as brain exercise anyways and due to my low numbers…which would be good for tennis not so good for IQ… apparently I needed the exercise 20 years ago when I was learning how to spell)… I posess the realization that I excel in other strengths… and as soon as there is a charades APP … GAME ON SUCKERS!

Lindsay Lohan's Jail Sentence=Back to Work

Well I called it. Lindsay Lohan was back in jail on Friday… for four hours… poor thing.  I foresee a coffee table book based solely on LL’s own mug shots. She sure is racking them up!

I could barely contain my exitement all weekend to bash her bad choices… again.

After a well deserved sentencing of 120 days in jail and 480 hours of community service… which after calculating, is a solid 20 24-hour days (have fun with that). Immediately after the sentencing, Lindsey went to draft her appeal for the courts faster than she moves towards her white lines of happiness and water bottles of fun. She still gets to appear in a pre-trial in May to decide her permanent fate and then her actual trial in June. Either way it seems Lindsey is gonna have to start laying off her spray tan in order for her not to blend in with her future fashion statement: an orange jumpsuit.  

Whether she stole the necklace or not, it appears that Lindsay’s new form of employment is really suiting her and I see no advocacy for changing her ways in the near future… not when it pays so well and gets so much press. At this point she has seen the inside of a courtroom more than the inside of a movie set.

P.S. Nice denim for court Lindsay… all I can say is at least she went for the couture denim.

In natural behind the times fashion, I realized there is a polling program that I can use, so I figured that LL would be the best tester. (There will most likely be polls of polls in the near future…this is so awesome)

Here is the video of Lindsay’s necklace debaucle.

Now. What do you think?

Sour Patch Jelly Beans: For the Kinder Side of Candy

Sour Patch Kids are one of the greatest candies on Earth. Not only do you get your sugar fix, but you get to bite the heads off of children. I can’t even tell you how many kids I have devoured in my lifetime… it’s definitely enough to keep me banned from Candyland for a very long time. 😉

So to get into the Easter mood, and in case you aren’t a fan of decapitation like moi… there are Sour Patch Jelly beans!!!!!

Thank you candy gods. Be sure before Sunday to make that promising purchase of a party in your mouth.

Happy Good Friday!!..  this has just made it an EXTRA Good day.